Red Rose

2007-11-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

Change of blog... Update update update!!!

LALALA :D

2007-10-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

Fun...

Wah... Today was a very busy day for me but I like it, but I sacriface the time for today's work like giving tuition to my brother and doing my codes. Well, anyway it was so worth it so yeah, do it on weekends luh!

Woke up at 11 plus, haa. Then Jon they all wana go je entertainment centre look for clara the gang. So, just nice, I need to get Darie's present as will be meeting Jie at 7 plus, so I tagged along. Hee, so got Darie present. And then went to take neo print with Qiqi, jon, rui, and my 2 brothers. Haaa. Below are the ones I scanned.

Then, meanwhile, wait for Clara the gang to be out of the skating ring, and we took another neo print, this time there were 9 people! :D

Excited for clara to scan finish the neo prints. Hee. And after which met Jie at Tampines Mall! Wah, it has been so long since I went to the East side. Okay on the trip there, I took bus, it was a 1 and an half hour trip okay! Sit till my head can auto-giddy la and was freezing COLD and f-hungryyyyyyyyyyy!

(:

Went Esprit to find her and she bought 2 tops, haaa. :D and then off to MOS. So I ate the same set as her, I don't usually dine at MOS, but this time is her choice but the set was very nice seafood with vege! Next time is Yoshinoya! Hee, must take turns. Woot, BUT IT WAS NICE. YEAH, like Jie said can be addicted to the milk tea ah. LOL! :D And then we went Isetan, woo, the Mango clothes are nice and mostly are 50 plus. Still okay leh, I wish I can work now, I can spend whatever I want. Hahaha.

Yeah, Jie, next time round, GO TOWN! :D Yeah, maybe on a weekend? :X Meet easier and can shop longerrrrr. :D

So nice crapping with Jie, the bull! :D yeahhh. I know "NIU". Hee, well only she and I gets it.

And lastly,

Darie, I hope that you like the present okayyyyyyy.

In the end, I am not so dumb to take bus la, I took the MRT home. 1 hour 15 mins, I reached home luh!

HA!

2007-10-09T15:27:00.000+08:00

Dot..

If possible, I really wish to hang out with Jie tomorrow even if its on the East side! T.T

Hope she has a lesser workload tomorrow! && hee hee, I gona get Darie's present tomorrow if if if jie can go with me! :D Actually I owe a lot of people present, but when I work, its NO problem man!

For now, Darie, hm, I have a budget though. Don't mind okay? And for those people that I have owe, for now, I will just give you all ALOT of attention, ALOT of love, ALOT of ears and ALOT of concern. So sorry about that.

Prefer life to be as simple as it can :D. Hopefully~~~

2007-10-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hee...

LOL! Finally I met dear for like after a week! && know what!

When I was at school during the first break-out, I vomited in the toilet. Eww. I don't know what happen to me and when I am with baby, I had a better appetite and thus ate quite a lot during dinner with him. :X Power of LOVE! Wee. One of the photos we took, hee. I edited and then put as my laptop and handphone wallpaper. I'm lovin' it! :D

I think is due to my gastric flu, that's why. Haha. So, before baby go back, he drove me to the 7-eleven and got some bread (rasin bread) and biscuits for me to make sure I had something before I go to school or to have something to back up for when Keke is not in school. It is bad troubling friends to just accompany me to buy snacks! Hee. So, independant!

I have a sudden urge wana go back with him to Malaysia. But! I can't. I have my studies and then he has to work, I have to do the right thing at the right time. Somehow, feel so sadded for this case but I'm sure we have the chance very soon. My holidays~~~

Thanks for all the concern you all have given me when I said I vomitted. Thanks di, jie, LIN and keke. (:

Jiejie, sorry ah, just now i go offline without saying so because I wasn't feeling well.

Hope that tomorrow will be better for me...

Hee, lastly, the teddybear handphone pouch with 2 tennis ball foot.

:D Dear got it for me. Weeeees.

I LOVE RAINY DAYSSSSSSSSSS and days with my LOVEEEEEEEEE~~

P/S: I'm hyper but I'm still 30% uncomfortable. I'm afraid of SLEEPING now because I have been sleeping for many hours for days, I'm sick of it! See, now going 1 AM. LOL~~

2007-10-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

Hee...

I'm ALIVE AND KICKING.

after...

sleeping for don't know over 10 plus hours! AND NOW!

I got myself a headache, not giddiness! HA!

WOOPS.

Tomorrow is a MONDAY! Finally, I wait for a week to meet baby! AND NOW ITS SO FINALLY, I AM JUST LESS THAN 24 HOURS AWAY FROM IT!

I shall grin whenever I can tomorrow and hope things go well because tomorrow there is a fyp meeting uh.

I even think of what I wana eat with baby tomorrow! I WANT FISH HEAD SOUP!! :X Baby, can I can I?

Boo hoo, I uploaded it.

Darie! I know your birthday coming la uhhhhh. LOL! I will get something ><"

Its best to stop thinking of things that is not realistic and painful~~

2007-10-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

Boo...

Haa. Got back from the clinic. My mum didn't get fed up with me because I go to a private clinic. 35 bucks! Seriously, my mama really changed a lot, maybe because I change a lot too. You know I am not like those little baby girl anymore, keep/hide everything within me and such, afraid to even voice out la, bla bla bla. Such a coward right? Ha!

But, hey, I am still like a baby in front of my baby's eyes. Well, which girlfriend doesn't behave like that?

Okay the clinic thingy goes like this...

Doctor: What's your problem?
Me: Giddy for 1 week already.
Doctor: Floating/Spinning Giddiness?
Me: Floating.
Doctor: Is your exams coming soon?
Me: Erm, we usually have tests only. Don't have exams at all.
Doctor: So, is your tests coming soon?
Me: Yeap, soon.

(Doctor checks my breathing speed or whatsoever on my chest and my back la. As usual...)

*Breathe in and out...*

Doctor: Go and lie down.

(Don't think anyhow la. Normal also to check my adominal part la.)

*Breathe in and out...*

Doctor: Try to calm down okay. If you want to breathe, use your nose, don't breathe so fast, breathe slowly.
Me: Hmm, what causes it?
Doctor: You are too excited. You need to calm down. Take a slower breathe. Don't be too stress.
Me: Oh, it is due to stress ah?
Doctor: Yeap. Because you cannot calm down your breathing.
Me: Okay, thank you.

Then I go back I go do some research. It's ANXIETY ATTACK?

...

Anxiety is a feeling of unease. Everybody experiences it when faced with a stressful situation, for example before an exam or an interview, or during a worrying time such as illness. It's normal to feel anxious when facing something difficult or dangerous, and mild anxiety can be a positive and useful experience.

When you're anxious, you may also experience a range of physical symptoms. These happen because of the bodies' so-called "fight or flight" response, which is caused by the release of the stress hormone adrenaline. The symptoms can include:

Symptoms of anxiety:
abdominal discomfort
diarrhoea
dry mouth
rapid heartbeat or palpitations
tightness or pain in chest
shortness of breath
dizziness
frequent urination
difficulty swallowing
shaking

AND ANXIETY CAN LEAD TO DEPRESSION! OH NO MAN. I AM WAY OUT OF TRACK FOR THIS LA.

Blue ones are the one I have now lor. I also don't feel any stress till when the doctor said try to breathe slowly then I realise I got so much stress on me because when he said this, I feel like bursting in tears.

Think it has been accumulating since don't know when.

FYP, friendship, grades, missing my baby badly, independance, tuition... All these enough for me. So packed. So dot. Whatever it is, try to relax and that's it, closing my blog is a good decision then! Adjustments!!!

Go out with Keke today! Took neo-prints. We got a high time doing decorations on it. We are both sastified with the outcome! HAHA.

Shall upload when I have time.

Talked to Mentor just now. Seems like he is so F-STRESS too with his workload. HA! He even say hope that we will not meet each other in WoodBridge hospital together when we next cross path. OH! He passed his PhD Oral. Woots. Maybe he can be a lecturer in SIM/SMU. So if thats the case, we may cross path there!

Hope so!

^^

STRESS STRESS GO AWAY!!!!!

2007-10-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

T.T

After so many things happened, I have lost 3kg. Plus, now can only meet baby once a week. Hais. I don't know whats happening to my damn health now. It has been a week that I feel giddy often and such. Sometimes even lost of appetite. I don't know what happen to me la.

Perhaps I should just see a doctor right? Yah, really I should, if not how I am going to survive like that? Sometimes I can just feel the shakyness in me. LOL!

Wonder how things is going to be now...

Maybe asking my brother to go doctor with me. T.T

God bless...

2007-10-04T11:58:00.000+08:00

Weird...

Don't understand why I cannot even express in every way I want in MY own blog.

"Believe one thing; you believe another. I try to convince you that I am right, and you attempt to do the same from your point of view. So, what is the big deal? How do our emotions, even our personal self-growth, get caught up in the struggle? And why do particular kinds of argumentative interactions get to us more than others siolzxzx?" taken from LIN's blog.

Signs, what she says is so true. There will be different kinds of arguementative fights in this world and it affects each individual's thoughts, emotions, and bla bla bla. Its like MENTAL TORTURE la.

Apparently, AH XUAN is tortured enough for weeks, oh for months in trying to get things in place but then there is something that keep holding her back, doubts of every SINGLE word/sentence/bla bla bla/chats/conversations.

In fact, LIN and me is caught up in the SAMA SAMA situation. LIKE DUH, *blog fight*.

"But anyway, no matter what the outcome of our decisions, conflict is likely to persist for some time lah cheebay. They say we both will need to accommodate to a degree of tension and disagreement until we can resolve our differences.

And I don’t think that’s even anytime soon. *shrugszzxx*", seriously admire the way LIN blogs.

(:

HEY LIN, YOU DON'T MIND I KEEP ADVERTISING YOUR STYLE OF BLOGGING UHHHHHH, RIGHT?

When I tried to go closer to you, I find it suspisious. Do you do it for the sake of doing it because we are still FYP partners? Or do it really cause you care?

In fact, I still confide to you. Sighs, I don't know whats wrong with me either. Am I being hell lots of SENSITIVE?

But, after so long, it feels weird.

You asked me to go chalet with your bunch of friends.
You said you are getting present for me when you go China.

I don't know.

Doubts and unhappy because you know I won't go to your chalet and apparently Yvonne and KW will be going, you should even bloody know how affected I will be if you ever care and stand in my shoe.

So, hows about the whole matter now?

Leave it?

2007-10-03T22:40:00.000+08:00

...

No time to entertain.
No time to explain.
No time to even think.

That's it, delete it away. (:

It's a fact that we are spiting each other sometimes? We are different already, you know it yourself when you talk to me and vice versa.

Come to terms with that.

But, anyway, just work on the FYP, it's the last semester so we need to chiong regardless of whatever factor.

Sometimes I do doubt...

But, whatever! Better not say my inner thoughts here anymore.

Get on with it.

Baby knocking off! Weeeeeee. Saiyo.

On a lighter note, High school muscial's SONGS ARE SIMPLY TOO darn nice! Especially the songs!!!

><"

Awww.

2007-10-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

Life...

Well, hasn't have the time to do some updates lately. Haa. But I do take a lot of pictures. Hmm, maybe that's not a lot but perhaps a few bah. Woot, so happy for baby. I wish that he can really make something out of his life! And, I will be here even though missing him but supporting him. (:

Haaa. Thinking of the future makes me smile, I hope this always stay within me.

Watched the channel 8 drama, "Switched!" on crunchyroll. This drama gives me a lot of feelings on life.

"外在美直能让你看三十年, 可是内在美能让你看一辈子, 你会选哪个?"

Oh, FYP offically started! It's time to deal with it and I have got some outsource, really all thanks to him, a guy I know last last semester. Haaa. Graphs, Charts, I shall conquer you!

Nothing between the guy and me because he knows how to do it thus asked that from him, you see, I need SOS! Waves flag!

Suddenly feel the flame of passion towards baby... Well, it's essential for our relationship! That keeps the relationship going isn't it? Haa.

Baby, you better cherish how much I dote on you now because I don't always dote on you! Haaaaa...

LOL! My 2 brothers sleeping away after playing basketball. Haaa. GOTCHA!

2 brothers again, see, their relationship so good! (: Haaa. Eh eh, must cherish each other wor.

This is what I usually eat when Keke not in school, I have Jean! (: With Jean and the team around always wana make me chiong my grades, hoo hoo! Fun!

MY YOUNGEST BROTHER. ITS SO SUCKY TO GIVE HIM TUITION ON MATHEMATICS, REALLY SO SUXS. T.T CAN VOMIT AH.

In fact, I was considering if I cannot make it to SMU, I shall study at SIM because once work, may not want to get back to studies. Hm, banking field? Haisss.

T.T My core is banking and finance!

God, this is crazy!

LOVE: Thanks for your herbal tea. Haaa. So touched. A bottle of love from you uh. Hee.

I'm so touched. "Dun tell me how much you want someting, show me that you can achieve it, ok?". Hmm. Gives me a lot of motivation!

T.T

Shall really plan. Will start on the FYP layout tomorrow. I am unhappy. Seriously, I don't like it but I do not have a choice in life, all I have to do is to make sure I do my part and score my best in it, in this way I will not be letting myself, my parents down just because of one person.

It's my life, whatever it comes, just got to face it!

So, I really wish to end the fyp meeting early, just feel that we often spite on each other. Feel practically very super tired and just wish to avoid. There are things that will never be the same every again. Feel disappointed in a sense, it all comes down to one thing.

My judgement.

There are people who you are okay with, and not okay with, and with different sets of principles, I should have got it long time ago, but was stubborn thought it will be different as long as the bond is there. Seems that it turns the other way round.

Never will I force myself to commit into a friendship when it has never fall in place for me as in my princples.

T.T

But, after so long, I am still affected by it, realised that I forgot to put a "brake" button in my life for friendship. That's why!

I got an accident.

Sighs...

Get back to reality. (: Look up and move on.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIAO KE AIIIIIII~~~

2007-09-28T17:12:00.000+08:00

Evil...

Have you guys met someone who you know writes and show that he/she actually cares and is trying to give in but in between the words, it actually protrays another thing? Another thing to show that he/she is the one who is trying to earn the readers' sympathy to divert the attention to the victim?

Like for example:

" He is my good friend. I done a lot for him then say a lot a lot. I don't wish to mention the whole incident here. I don't understand why he don't understand what I do for him. Anyway, I really treat him as my good friend hope that we will be friends together again. I really cherish him. Thanks for being there for me, I really appreciate it. :D "

And...

The actual fact is that they don't write the actual thing that happens but only claim yah, he is a friend that I really care, I really love and bla bla bla which is only on the SURFACE of the whole incident. Such idiots really exist. Only those who are guilty don't dare to state what are the things/issues that takes place.

It is damn very *yin xian*. Dogs which usually don't bark are the most dangerous ones. Like those drama shows, those who are always innocent are always so darn eager and anxious to explain everything that shows that they are but those not, you think they even dare to speak a word MEH? Nah.

ONLY TO GAIN THOSE WHO READ YOUR BLOG THOSE SYMPATHY TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE THAT GOOD-HEARTED, KIND?

=.= PUI lor.

Shows that you really love your friend? It seems like you are just trying to cover your idiotic face and let your friend that you really "LOVE" a lot to be the victim to show that he's NOT understanding, bla bla bla. So everyone will think is his fault.

SUCK UP ASSHOLE.

Can I learn from him/her? Baby say this is just "sap sap water" nia. Meaning there are more idiotic people out there?

Can they really leave with a clear conscience after they being so "NICE"?

So sinful.

I hate to be two-faced, so I have started showing my attitude yesterday but I didn't regret because I just can't stand the way it is right now. Luckily, there are things I can depend on myself especially on studies.

Studies-wise, better learn to have some skills on hands.

And...

:D is such an insult emotion after the whole statement of you claiming to be his very good friend.

EVIL.

2007-09-26T19:33:00.000+08:00

N73...

TO BE UPDATED:

Click on this to view the 3 houses.

Haaaa. Obviously xuan is mine! :D

Actually took this from LIN, and then my team-mate; Jean asked me to draw on the same street as hers. SO, we combined. TA DAH! So nice. Actually they compressed it.

Luckily Jean asked me to "Print Screen". Haaa.

TADAHHHHH.

Mine. T.T Lazy to convert to JPG format.

And then...

Based on the drawing and the 10 answers they gave this is a summary of their personality:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

UPDATED SUCCESSFULLY :D

.

.

.

Woops, hasn't update for so long. Haaa. :D. I have got pictures today! Just bought N73 ME last week, love the camera loads, so darn clear. Hee. Aww. Told mama that I will pay with the tuition hours I give to my brother. Obviously, I need to continue giving him tuition to pay off the debts I owe to my mama for this phone. Nowadays things have been really very unlucky for me and my baby. Sighs.

I'm sad sad sad.

T.T

Trying to get over it. Right now I am very busy. Things are very packed especially with the incoming things I have to do for FYP and it is tougher than last semester. Still, I am still aiming a A for it. So, got to get things going! And... To add, I have got a sucky supervisor for the situation right now. For the future, I'm not sure.

Attended the SMU talk few days ago, yeah I'm chionging a lot of CE talks right now as it is compulsary for me to graduate, luckily got Petrina to always update me with it, haa. She's so nice, I have only known her for 1 day. :D. SMU requirements is GPA of at least 3 and above and then an interview session for almost 3 hours? Wooo. So yeah. Trying to reach 3. ><""". If ever I can got in SMU, I'm so honored. T.T Right now, just keep on trying my best. Dreams keep reminding me to wake up for school!

Went to somewhere near godma's house area. So right now, this is very hot for those who believes in monkey god. Below is a attached photo of a monkey at the bottom of the tree trunk? Looks so darn real. Well, somehow I believe that it is some kind of spiritual things that we can't explain but it depends on each religion. Brought Yike there too after school yesterday. So fun!

So, yesterday was Moon Cake's Festival. Haaa. I didn't touch any of the moon cakes. So fatty. :D. A lot of calories. Haa but as usual per year event, played candles below my block area with baby and brother's friends. Such a pity for di who cannot make it yesterday due to chalet. So somehow it was crowded. Haaaa. And then there was a cute range of lanterns that my brother's friend's cousins was holding to. Took a snap of the spider man. Haaa. So cute.

Haa. D & T means? ><"""

& right now I hate parking fines. REALLY TO THE CORE.

T.T

I SINCERELY pray that things will get better for both of us...

Like how jie usually prays.

Prays *1xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. T.T

2007-09-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

Mis...

Management information system seems quite fun. ><" Never regret taking it. Yeah, Lin was like saying that friends is not about quantity but quality. Her english standard has always make me go WAHHHHH. I need a dictionary when I read her blog, her vocabulary is superb!

I can't wait to...

have my own room! Doesn't mean that I don't have a room, yes I have but those you know furnitures and decorations is not up to me decades ago but NOW!

WOOHOO!

MAMA LET ME DESIGN WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY ROOM.

Yes, I can paint, whatsoever, wee!

Hais. Wana paint lavender color :D but dear somehow asks me to you know think carefully! So excited, of course will ask baby and di to come and help me paint. Painting seems fun too!!! Laughs, Keke was saying if need help call her and she tells me that she never paint before. Keke ahhhh.

New wardrobe, new study desk, new bed (maybe) ask my dad first because most of it is sponsored by my mother.

Well, take weeks to organise all these events. So anxious, I can't wait!

Last few weeks mama has been busy donating clothes, soft toys, whatever that may be useable by others to the church to clear all the rooms' stuffs. I have superbbbb lots of soft toys, and I remembered some that was played by me when I was around 4 to 5? Haaa, mama asked me if I want to keep it as memorial. I said no la, throw throw throw. I have a lot of piglets at home and other sort of disney characters ones that I got from Arcade, how am I suppose to adopt so many?! I will be suffocated with lots of furs man.

Finally, my room is more "xiang yang", easier to sweep and easier to manage and handle.

Started to feel the warmth in my house, mama has been so good recently but is it due to cause I was always not around? Sighs...

Sinful ah sinful.

Thanks ah to the sm king, :D for always accompanying me for the day and such, have been playing dai dee for almost every week, heee, my skills not bad now woo hoo. And I have a job now. Sister cum tutor. LOL! Every hour 5 bucks eh. Can save even more.

New room!!!

I'm lovin' it!

:D in love with Darie, lin, keke, baby, di! I'm FLIRT!

2007-09-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

Emo...

Hmm. Seriously, I don't have much friends in school, now... I can only named Yike, Darie and Lin and Yike hasn't been in school for these 2 days so Darie accompanied me for lunch and I really got to thank her for waiting me to finish my food. Yeah, somehow I feel so bad that I wished I can, with one spoon finishing the whole plate of food.

Lin is having fasting now if not we will already have SOTO!

Feel so bad too that I have realised that I haven't been really talking to lin till now since the holidays besides the one sms I sent telling her I cannot make it to KL. Sighs, wish to give her a hug right now.

I cannot make myself to eat alone and walk home alone from school. I will rather not eat but going home I really cannot unless, baby called me to chat if not with me 1 person walking down with so many people having friends beside them to walk home, I feel so emo and pathetic.

Now, I must bear the consequences of you know relying so much on 1 person. Yeah, learnt the hard way. But, never will I ask that person to eat with me because things are different now and I cannot make myself to eat with her too. There's always a gap. Nothing can break that gap.

Like lin says, independant. Somehow this word, I just CMI.

Studies independancy, I can.

Towards all these daily life thingy, I seriously cannot.

<33

I am really lucky that I have Lin and Darie in school now. (:

Outside of school, for dinner, lucky to have brothers with me!

Both brothers.

<333 all.

And bless me, I am sick, flu, cough! Oh yah, with all these, I think I can slim down even faster.

&& thanks baby for being there for me mentally. <333

2007-09-07T20:31:00.000+08:00

Hahaha...

Pai seh everyone, I have been in Maplestory the whole week thus no update and such. Anyway, grades are out, I can only say wow, they are so much stricter in Year 3, and luckily I passed on the dot for the first fcuking module. HAHAHA. And yeah, I ponned again. Darn. Last semester to aim for a 3.0 GPA if not I gonna really get killed by my parents.

Get killed meaning, I really cannnot imagine, Mum will say it is due to me finding a Malaysia boy-friend? Dad will say too! And my life will be worst meaning I cannnnnnnnot go in and out of Malaysia again? But! I am stubborn, passport is with me, but I know they meant well.

Hais. What to do.

Anyway, my FYP got a A. (;

Current GPA, 2.81 T>T HOW???

Seriously, I can, and I can score more than that if I have put in 100% in my studies well I cannot STAND THE FUCKING ROUTINE BASED. If attendance is not in it, I have already scored more than 3. Like my year 1. 3.2!

FUCK THE ROUTINE.

=.=

How am I suppose to get in SMU?

For god's sake, no matter what, I will get a degree certificate. By HOOK OR by CROOK.

Work first then apply la, that will be easier to get in SMU okay.

So sick of society. I am always on the average. And ALWAYS AVERAGE. From young till now always AVERAGE.

Cannot let my parents down at least really AVERAGE. 3.0 SET.

My Maple ranger lv 100 already =D. But, I am sick!!! Having sore-throat, bla bla bla.

GTG! Meanwhile, take care everyone.

Oh...

Come to think of it, my Professional Profiling passed. LOL! 5 mins only for that session, he said can go already. SO HAPPY!

Baby haven't even load the laptop icons, DONE.

!!! Will life be always that smooth for me? Hmmm...

2007-08-23T13:20:00.000+08:00

Me...

HA! Huiling did the 10 quirks about her and told me how fun it was upon doing that, maybe out of boredom, I should try it since its holidays uh. =X

On to the 10 quirks about me...

1. You notice that I will want to be consistent and neat in typing or even handwriting especially like doing mathematics workings and format of document.

Come to think of it, a lot of my friends in Secondary School says that my handwriting is like words coming out from typewriter, LOL!

2. I like doing things that make me confident of myself.

Like if I don't have a bf, I will have go sun-tan, play beach volleyball and wear bikini, stuffs like that. But, well eat too much with him, must diet. HA!

3. When I am not feeling well to the extent of vommiting, the only thing I can swallow down is Fishball Noodles.

It's only the one near my house, so lucky that it had not changed its taste after so many freaking years!

4. Out of all the ball games, I love volleyball still.

CCA was Volleyball in Primary School and it really rocks my life man with Lay Yian and friends around. Was pretty sad when there was no CCA for Volleyball in my Secondary School.

5. I am good in numbers but not good in logic.

Well, I am just not good in sciene but I love MATHEMATICS!

6. If you are closed enough to me, you will know that when after crying, it was the strongest part of me and whereby you cannot predict what I can say to you or do to you.

If someone was to make me shed tears, yes, I am hurt, I shed but after shedding, I will be stronger and you will see my nasty side. You know that is what I mastered after crying for 3 consecutive months for someone. And right now, I don't feel anything for him. Not in the least of bit.

7. I hate rainy days.

Probably and most probably I mean, you will see me being more moody and emotional on the days of rainy days, this one my second ex bf knows the best. Maybe I am already shedding tears for the past or maybe I am sleeping due to the nice weather, have to see my mood though.

8. When someone looks down on me, then there comes my maximum pontential.

Yeah, when someone says I am fat, I tell you, I will just bloody slim down and prove that at least I am not as fat as that time and there are improvements. So, those who want to see my downfall, perhaps its the opposite because you are urging me to make more improvements in LIFE.

9. I have higher expectations from guys than girls.

I am more direct to guys because I feel that they should be more giving to girls and such. So what its the 21st century, the fact of your mother (girl) giving birth to you still stays the same, so respect girls more!

10. I don't like people who invades my privacy without my permission.

Even if my mother wants to read my phone's SMS, nah, and when she says she is my mother, I will give a black face and complains to my dad instead and I know, he understands whats privacy. And he said to my mother, "From the day she was borned, she has her own privacy.", cool isn't it? =D. LOVE MY DAD!

10 enough already, I don't want people to know so bloody much about me, HA!

=D.

FUN!

Makes me know who I am.

HA!

JIE, CELESTE, DARIE GO DO, I WANT TO READ =D.

Morning woke up at 9 AM, played maple. HA! GTG!

2007-08-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

WTH...

I regret not taking down the msn conversation because apparently, yesterday that fyp partner should be drunk to have that she is mad at me because I don't trust her trusting him. Now, she twisted her words. So, when can I even believe her? LOL! So contradicting. Yeah, no wonder when she says want to forget the person, she did not, she is still fickle-minded.

Yeah, I look for evidence, I don't look for the explaination because the explaination is stupid, only fools believe it.

"He is out, he said some NTU students is staying late in school and I don't know what they are up to maybe is them.", yeah, how kind hor, he explain this? Then well, why in the first place he is there so late? LOL! Fools. Idiots. And the tracker says is a "bookmark", there isn't any referrer link. FYI, it means that is a link they typed themselves, not from any other blog, can't stand it.

AS IF I DON'T WANT THE FYP TO END EARLY. BLOODY HELL.

To think, I am thinking if she don't know how to do the codes, should I even help her?

Forget it, hey, you just stick to him la. Don't wish to care anymore.

FYI, ITS THE LAST BLOODY POST ABOUT HER. GETTING TIRED OF SHOWING HOW ZHONG SE QING YOU SHE IS.

Look at the bigger picture, so sick of it.

Well, you look at the person, I look at evidence. People can betray you but evidence don't.

FYI, if you don't even know what it is, ITS FOR YOUR INFORMATION.

Come to think of it, she should be happy and she should thank me because before the stupid tagging problem arises, she and him are not in good terms, after this issue, they become back to usual friends again.

LOL! =D.

HA! Obviously, zhong se qing you la. No need deny, even if it is so true, she won't admit because she don't want to feel "xia suay" when your prediction comes true about her life.

AND... I never even think of flooding your tagboard because I ain't childish like those NTU students, oh, did i even state that it is KW? =D.

Maple time! =D. Chiong to 10X, HA! And after losing a friend, I tend to cherish all my the other friends who I have lost contact more, yeah. Happy with my life now because I have a new experience.

LOVE JIE, DARIE, GF, BABY, XIAOKEAI, YIKE & PEOPLE AROUND ME (;

2007-08-22T12:45:00.000+08:00

Profiling...

Yeah, next Monday needs to go back to school for Professional Profiling assessment, Dr. Ng's wife is so good to help me edit the final draft. Hee. She's really very good being by his side as a General Manager of Q & M Dental Surgery.

Need to do up a poster. Something to do with tooth, LOL!

5 x =

Boo hoo, later need to go fetch baby's mama. =D, it has been a lot of days since she came home, wonder how will she feel and such. Baby's dad is great at cooking, I'm really impressed.

=D. Bad things go away. Good things come.

People come, people go, will just have to accept that.

Need to get some DVDs, watched finished already, HA!

GTG!

2007-08-21T18:17:00.000+08:00

Closing...

TO BE EDITED:

YEAH. KNOW WHAT. SHE FINALLY TELLS ME THAT SHE IS MAD BECAUSE I DONT TRUST THAT THAT GUY IS INNOCENT. IN THE FIRST BLOODY PLACE, DOES SHE KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SHE IS FORCING ME TO TRUST THAT HE IS INNOCENT?

ALOT OF FRIENDS HAVE BEEN TELLING ME OBVIOUSLY SHE IS ZHONG SE QING YOU, CAUSE OF I DON'T BELIEVE HE'S INNOCENT, YOU FORGO THE FRIENDSHIP, SO BE IT THEN. I STILL THOUGHT MAYBE SHE HAS HER REASONS, BUT NAH! SHE SHOWS IT ALL.

I DIDN'T COMMENT ANY BLOODY THING IN HER BLOG, YEAH, HATE PPL WHO JUST ASSUME AND MAKE THINGS WORSE AND DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO CLARIFY.

RIGHT NOW WE ARE ONLY FYP PARTNERS, NOT MORE THAN THAT, & I FCUKING REGRET, SHOULD HAVE JUST JUMPED GROUP BUT NEVERMIND, FOR THE SAKE OF YIKE THEN.

"Life is so complicated
It leaves you faded
Deep within the walls of falsehood
Then again
It’s just the mood
That one sets upon their aura
Of Self"
Quoted from Nicole's blog which is so so true.

To just close the matter, right now, there is a gap in between that is you and him, me and you. I seriously don't know how to close the gap right now but I believe we need time, thats why I said "adjustments". I feel untrusted too in a sense indirectly. Now is you trusted him but I don't. So I respect you trusted him and you in the same way should respect me distrusting him.

1) I don't have ANY friends in NTU.
2) My tracker has been months and there isn't ANY NTU buggers or whatsoever.
3) I have changed blog skin already and NO those buggers and it is till when the thing arises then have.
4) Writing style also can changed. (iie cn juz type lyke dis.) Simple as that.
5) IP tracker said is from NTU organisation.
6) Cbox IP same as tracker.

You have your point of trusting him and I have point of saying its him.

Yeah, I love you too thats why I asked you to forget him but well I am a busybody too. So I said I will not be one ever, yeah this is it, I am just bringing myself trouble afterall.

Seriously, when you tell me how sad you are and you are determined to forget him, I asked you to delete the link away to make sure that within my means, you will not have any signs about him, yet in this way of him tagging and him telling you it wasn't him, it is still back to square one. Where is the determination and are the words you tell me about letting him go, forgetting him, leaving him alone, true? Yea, hard to do it so never tell me that so I will not be that stupid to just help you forget him.

Afterall I said, I am crossing the darn limit of being a friend, I admit, so even if you never help me tag back, its alright, make me learnt a lesson that I should never ever cross that boundary unless I am really sure of how one manages between friends and lovers/someone he/she likes.

Yea, in another way of so, I deserve it having to be such a busybody asshole.

(;

Okay, that's all. You are a great friend, trust me time is all we need to put those pieces together. But if one day, I mean IF he still hurt you, I guess, I will not do such silly thing like this time I did.

NEVER CROSS THAT DARN FUCKING LIMIT.

On a side note, if you think I am controlling, then well really... So be it. I didn't use a knife to point at you.

Yea, character clashes.

So sick of it. Its not like I can be friends with everybody in the whole wide earth, LOL! Everybody has their "unaccepted" characteristic of friends as well as "accepted" characteristic of friends, so if I fall within your "unaccepted", really, thats too bad, we just can't be friends.

Well, I think there will be more buggers now trying to just slap me. BANNING TIME SOON I GUESS.

><" So, will my prediction come true? Time says it all.

2007-08-21T10:49:00.000+08:00

Lala...

TO BE EDITED:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIDI BEN XK! =D. HOORAY. GO PARTY ALL YOU WANT LA. LOL!

Yea. A lot of friends have been just telling me to hack those immature freaks. It's my blog and I can do whatever I want with it. Had a change of layout, guess its bringing me too much stupid trouble, so well, did a combination of the layout. I love it lots, its like reminding me every single time I blog, how many friends were really there for me and my love and my family.

My mum did consoled me of what had happended. She said I was too simple minded and stuffs like that. HA! I cried in front of her okay and seriously I hate to cry in front of her showing how weak I am because my mama always seem like a career woman being so strong. Not sure if its inner too. But, shes really very capable of doing what I can't usually do. Not to forget, GOD too! I am so shocked when my mama just said that niang niang wanted me to drink that "fu", so I guess niang niang must be knowing how life has been really down for me!

I told baby love that I wanted to buy those "lian hua" so that you know I can get rid of "xiao ren" in my life and such. Having too much already. =X Anyway, my religion is buddism, those who don't believe can jolly well just you know respect my religion and I too respect yours.

(; Well, just get on with my life. Oh, I self-declared holidays already from today onwards. Yesterday was accounting lesson. It was really fun and hetic too. We played Monopoly and we lost to the other team. Oh, we only have 2 teams yesterday! But, after the game, we have to record different different type of transactions, it was so messy and so so complicated than the balance sheet is not balanced at all. We have a total of over 100 transactions I think, THAT'S A LOT!

Luckily, our facilitator is kind enough to just say go through 6th presentation straight since NO more UT, NO more lesson! HA! Though is a few lessons with her but she is so much better than the other one. Ended class before 2.30! So shiok! Walk to station with Yike, she dismissed at that time too. Wee, it has been decades since seeing her.

I was like, "hao jiu bu jian". Then give each other a little pat and there goes our chat. Being with her is like time passing very fast and she did asked me like why my blog become private, and I told her about those idiot taggers. She said that it was very "you zhi", she asked me to let her login and she wanted to help me flood them and she said something like we are "jie mei dang", should help me tag back, =X so sweet. I guess different individual friends have different levels of forking out as a friend. Indeed it was. (;

Needless to say, Darie was totally there for me, she called me and smsed me. We talked on the phone too saying so much craps. Yea, we 2 kena the same old thing uh. Love that time also the sama sama. Now blog thing also sama sama. But, Darie, I don't wish to care already. I don't like to change my life cus of what those idiots tagged.

Well, I have my say as well. Denied for all you want and thanks for making my life so DOWN once before, never will there be twice because you have made me stronger and made me know who was there for me and such. Thanks to you uh. I believe GOD has her plans for me.

Actually I did talked to Kenneth. HA! To think that he told me that his papa actually remembered my birthday after all these years. Let me think, it has been going 5 years! Baby love, he knows I will not "jump stead" okay? None of my ex will be my lovers again because its totally different. He has changed so much indeed, his studies are good now and temper-wise too. So glad for him and yeah, I believe, soon enough there will be a bliss girl in his life. I am sure she will be so bliss much more bliss than me in the past.

I am bliss now too with my baby love! Crying with him hugging me is the best feeling ever, only with him I can cry whatever I want, do whatever I want. Aww. Having cramps yesterday till now, soon, soon it will be over then start with workout to get back whatever I own in the past. Those idiot buggers can just wait and see, at least I did go towards my aim not like them nothing to do, no aims in life and such.

(; I do have thoughts of jumping down straight, lucky I didn't. Well, it is all over dude, I have overcome it, I think god has been so proud of me too. I am not dumb anymore and came to my senses when Darie keeps saying why should I do this and that, yeah, Darie, I came to my senses already, all thanks to those stupid assholes and of course you being by my side, enough and contented.

Baby has been asking me to watch "Redline", a car-racing movie, it was so darn cool with all those hot chicks in it. I think all guys will love it! Yea yea, the nature of guys. I watched it yesterday while I was having cramps but then it wasn't that pain afterall when watching that because I think my whole mind and soul was into that and how hot those babes were in it! =D. Wee, but some parts was sad.

Okay, long entry, enough right?

=D gagaga.

2007-08-19T11:26:00.000+08:00

Wee...

Oh man. I feel so great now! Especially after going to "Pasar Pagi" in Malaysia with baby and his dad. Hee. We went there at 8 plus in the morning. New day, new air and a new tomorrow. Their "Pasar Pagi" is like what we known as "Pasar Malam" just that it was in the morning, thats why the word "Pagi" is behind. Compared to Singapore, this is a very huge event. And I saw real life chickens and ducks, went goo gaa over it. It is not always easy for us singaporeans to see it often uh. Yea yea. Feel much better today. Days before was like hell, everything in a mess, but hopefully there is a stop to it.

Sometimes, things just go haywired out of a sudden, not within our control but we have to just accept it and go with the flow. Just hope that after this, there will be peace for me and I guess there will be since holidays is just a day away now. Keep myself busy as possible so I can't be bothered anymore. None of my business, just mind my own business now and enjoy life to the fullest!

Okay, just watched "The Underdog"!

Cute couple uh. The Underdog and the Polly. (; I didn't get to watch the underdog cartoon before but found it on the net. It is some sort familar though. Ha!

Nice movie! Very hilarious too. Back in Singapore later. ^^ Then shall call Darie. It has been a long time since we chat on phone and I think its better for us to do some catch-ups since its holidays soon! Gona miss her so much and much more if shes gona go overseas to further study. Oh, how bad can it be.

2007-08-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

Gays...

The content below will be very vulgar and I seriously need to rant. So, pardon me for today's entry!

Fcuk furious right now, !@#$%! Guys are turning gays now, where has the "u" gone to? Eaten up by what? Eaten up by shit mentality? Or eating too much homo pills? Bloody hell. No, not taken any homo pills, its natural homo inner side which we don't know? Its only a bloody worm that got onto your shirt, and you just make it drop on the floor and you are in my house. Even though you are my brother's friend, I don't see why you can't give me the basic respect and hello, you are elder than me, 21 for god's sake.

You should have the bloody responsibility to throw away the worm! It is the one you bring in, not you know it is there by itself! You brought it into my bloody house. You tell me that you are scared, I scolded him "You gay ah?" very loud. Know what? He dared me to pick it up, I used a tissue to pick it up, and he go "CHEYYYYYYYYY...".

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

Do you even have the brains of 21? And do you have what it takes to be a man? Adult? My ass. 21 to be qualified as a adult? No, you look like a baby, who can't walk, you don't even think of ways to pick the bloody thing you brought in. I can't imagine, if you are horny and that you made a girl pregnant, are you gona hack and leave the girl alone?

It applies a lot to one's character you see by a worm!

No responsibility, so so disgusted by the fact that you are a guy, please, god, let him be a girl next time, he's so much suited for that sissy sayings and actions.

Amen.

Sinful, sinful, but he deserves it. God shows me so many idiot guys, luckily my baby is not one of them.

Cannot stand such gayyyyys.

I am proud of myself that I did workout today and I have finished few minutes ago. Less panting now. Woo. Nice. Did 2 sets. Seeing baby tomorrow, have been missing him like hell but I am not in hell because I am NOT with a gay like those idiots I came accross.

Cheers. Thanks to Winnie for you know accompanied me for dinner, having dinner with her is like so nice, wish that it is forever though forever don't last, if I can, I will make it last as long as I can that is I don't die so fast and hope she also have the same thinking as mine, you must treasure your life.

2007-08-16T12:22:00.000+08:00

666...

I have a lot of interesting things to share in this entry, so do read! Seriously, I am interested in the contents of all these too, the bible prophecy being revealed and such. It is just so amazing even though I am a pure buddhism.

Find that it is like a miracle that the bible shows a lot of things in Earth.

Everyone knows the meaning of the number 666? From Wikipedia, In modern popular culture, 666 has become one of the most widely recognized symbols for Satan or the Devil. Earnest references to 666 occur both among apocalypticist Christian groups and in explicitly anti-Christian subcultures such as that surrounding some heavy metal bands; more humorous allusions to the 666 symbolism (e.g., the Lemmings level featuring three 6's built upon "hellish" lava terrain) are mainstream. An appearance of the number 666 in contemporary Western art or literature is more likely than not a conscious reference to this number of the Beast symbolism.

I watched a DVD with dear last few weeks, it is named "The Omen" casted in 2006 and is a remake movie. Did not realise that there is "Omen II" and "Omen III" casted beforehand years ago. Realising it in Wikipedia again. I hope I can watch them! Not sure whether I can find it in Malaysia or in anywhere in Earth now.

Jeff Milner:

Winnie shares this with me and it is really wow!

Years ago someone told me that if you played Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven song backwards that you could make out "satanic messages". It is not my opinion that Led Zeppelin and the other artists here were given some kind of evil power to make these backwards sounds have a satanic message. Taken from his website, so go to his website and listen to the reverse play of the song. It is kind of creepy to me. Ewww. The song of Stairway to Heaven is the most creepiest ever. Reed the reversed message.

"Oh here's to my sweet Satan. The one whose life path would make me sad, whose power is Satan..." More to go! Go and listen now.

...& to my surprise, I found this link talking about bible prophecy.

Below are what I extracted from.

[HARRY POTTER & 666...

Harry Potter hits once again this summer with another movie and the final book in the series. Many claim that HARRY POTTER is good for children, promoting positive values such as the battle between good and evil. If you believe this, here are some points to ponder.

Point # 1) When Antichrist is revealed, he will use this theme of the "cosmic battle" between "good and evil" for the glory of satan. Antichrist, as the new messiah and world teacher, simply fill in the blanks.

Antichrist will teach that Satan is the true god of planet earth and the Lord of magic and those who oppose him are the "evil ones, those of the "dark side" of the Force, those who follow the evil, wicked God of The Bible.

Thus Christians (those who believe JESUS is CHRIST) will be the enemy and slaughtered in this cosmic battle against those who reject satan and magic. (Rev:13:-6-7).

point # 2) HARRY POTTER promotes witchcraft, magic and spells as good while The Bible says these are evil practices because they are "gateways" into Satan's realm.

point # 3 HARRY POTTER has a mark upon his forehead that is the source of his magic power. This shows a generation of children that the coming MARK OF THE BEAST is good and holy as well. (Rev:13:16).

point # 4 Finally the "mark" of magical power upon HARRY POTTER'S forehead is a lightening bolt. Is it a coincidence that the Lightening bolt (or double bolt) is an occult symbol for Lucifer and Hitler's SS (who were satan worshipers).

HARRY POTTER is preparing this generation of Children to accept Antichrist (when he comes) as the World teacher and Master of Magic and to join his battle against the evil ones=Christians.

Still think HARRY POTTER is harmless fantasty and good for children? Well you won't think so when Antichrist is soon to be revealed.

http://www.satansrapture.com/harrypotter.htm

God Bless
Pastor Harry/CH of PHL-INT
www.satansrapture.com]

Interesting right? =X

2007-08-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

Thanks...

I am pleased to announce that all these people walk with me through my life in each individual paths or ALL paths... FOR NOW I MEAN. Needless to say, there are a lot more I want to thank in my life.

Hey, not according to ranking.

Darie.
Gnil! ...and I really don't know that Jie, you came to my blog one! So touched and thanks for being there when I broke up with Oswald. Like I say, thank you for being my rainbow!
Yike.
Winnie.
Yvonne.
Eunice.
Lin. Have not been seeing her, hope to see her tomorrow.
Baby.

All rock my life!

I just met my gf aka Eunice okay today! I am so glad to meet her, actually when the bus is coming, we are still chatting! See, where enough for us in a few hours! We need days, NO, we need forever, like the ones when she always come to my house during secondary school days. Thinking about that, Celeste, Marcus, yeah, really miss those times.

Primary school days, HUI LING! I have lost touched with Boon Qian. T>T

Boo, xiaokeai too.

!!!

Thanks everyone.

And oh yah, to update my life, now I am trying to tone my body with workout session. 5 times a week I think? I did it on Monday and Tuesday, today time for me to take a rest, I think for a start, I cannot just give it too much pressure, tee hee. I need motivation! I want a toned, sexy hot body. So when you see that I am not blogging in the night, you should know, I am working it out, if you see I am blogging or in Maple, say BOO to me! I am lazing like today.

Can I have that?

Hmmm...

Grats to xdarlinkx the ranger for hitting 9x! ><"

2007-08-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

Hey...

http://www.clearlyformen.com.sg/site/

Hello to all babes! Watch this for the contest! There is Nicole Chen inside but shes one of the lousiest inside, why why why?

Is it due to she was aka the princess?

Well, hey Nicole, you can do it!

Every girls can. Changing tire, opening durians, etc, interested? Quick, copy this link now!

2007-08-15T21:24:00.001+08:00

Idiotic...

Why are some people just so bull-headed? Why don't he just get it? Okay, right now, I am not talking about my baby, is someone who is my friend's friend. You know, he really suck at handling affairs and the other way round, saying me childish. Anyway, I once KO you, you know it yourself better.

Don't make me lose your pride and seriously you don't deserve any pride in the first place because you are bloody selfish, go flirt all you want and don't hook up my friend anymore. Today this girl, tomorrow that girl, hello, you are not at a teenager age even if so teenagers are not suppose to be that flirt okay. Karma, you know what it is? Now, you envy your buddies having a girl friend, now come to think of it, are my reasons here clear enough for you to wake your mind on why you don't even have 1?

NTU? Hey, you are really lousy.

I hate such guys and I will never respect you.

I dare you to approve my comment!

2007-08-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

Perfume...

Escada Pacific Paradise: (I'm loving it!)

Pacific Paradise Perfume by Escada, This sexy fragrance was created by escada, in 2006. Its amazing scent includes a mixture of lime, dried victoria apple, coconut sorbet, sugar candy, banana flower, hawaiian salt blossom, sandalwood, powdery musk, and amber crystals.

Escada Sunset Heat:

Sunset Heat for women has notes of papaya, lemon, mango sherbet, pineapple mousse, watermelon, peach lotus flower, hibiscus, sandalwood, musk and amber.

Ralph Lauren Ralph: (Alright la!)

A fresh, colorful floral fragrance reflecting the energy, spirit, and personality of an empowered, confident young woman. Ralph is a sparkling green, light fruity-floral blend.

Lancome Miracle: (NO NO NO!)

Dream of the endless possibilities each new day brings. Discover the new fragrance by Lancome. A fresh start freesia, lychee. A soft heart magnolia and a spicy, sexy base jasmine, amber notes.

So, as you can see, there are 3 brands over here and seriously I still perfer Escada more. Currently I have the Escada Pacific Paradise and it is finishing soon and I got a standby perfume of Ralph Lauren Ralph. Baby likes the smell of Ralph Lauren Ralph but afterall I still prefer Escada! The Escada Sunset Heat is the perfume for this year for summer season, so I think you can guess that the Escada Pacific Paradise was last year's one. The smell is quite similar actually, that time wanted to buy the sunset one but then chose another brand instead so I forgo the chance of getting the free Escada bag too.

I think each girls has their type of smell they wanted to put on themselves. For mine, it will be a little sweet. Tee hee. I'm loving it! Perhaps, the next fragrance I shall try DKNY, yipee! That is a lot months away!

Know what? Never ever get the Lancome Miracle, it is so common till the extent I keep on smelling the same thing over and over again. So sometimes even though the fragrance is nice, but smelling it everywhere you know... We will get sick of it la!

Let's get back to hot poses (:

2 Sexy Jessica alba Photos!

So, out of these 2, which one you find it nicer or more appealing? I like the second one more. I like those pose which shows a little secretive feel and sexy feel. You know sometimes by not wearing anything/naked/bikini set means that you are sexy, you must have that feel to take the sexy out. Hey, you have a different view? Perhaps, we have the different definition of "sexy", so chill alright?

Sighs, when can I slim down? It is so hard now. T>T God bless me and baby better bless me because it is up to him to stop feeding me. I guess I am really not content, when my previous relationship makes me suffer a lot, I complain to god that why I am having such a hard life, then when now I am having a good life/alright life, I am out of shape! T>T It is never easy to meet two ends. I hope one day I can manage to meet both, hopefully...

Next, our FYP's layout! The Efficient Airline Booking System Team B!

Tadah!

I only upload the season for Summer backgrounds. Actually it is a randomized background. We got 5 pictures for Summer! So these are 2 of them.

The layout is mostly done by me and the background title right, the "Summer Sensation" is by Winnie!

She is super good at thinking such nice names.

Sighs, to Winnie's friend, whether or not you will come by here, I hope that you will learn to cherish girls before she is gone, sometimes, once gone, its forever gone, but!

You may miss the first girl, never allow yourself to miss the second one if not you are really letting yourself down and you never learn in the first place if that happens. As long as you learn from it and be a man respect girls a little give in girls a little and oh yah, understand girls inner side a lot a lot, Winnie will be glad and happy for you. I believe that. God bless and I am sorry for being so direct to you sometimes guys are stubborn! I mean, sometimes.

Ending the long long entry, and I am still thinking if I want to go school tomorrow. Oh my. Wake up!

2007-08-04T18:51:00.000+08:00

Photos...

Changed the layout, though ah, this layout will you know cause a lot of people who dislike me to vomit at the screen but so be it. I like it! Seriously, I like to pose like this, and I wanted to learn how celebrities really pose their figure out. I am interested! This helps a lot in boosting confidence in one-self alright? Okay, those dislike me! Say I am fat, whatsoever and seriously I am fat what. I have gained so much kgs compared to when I was not with my baby. This shows that I am bliss! Wakaka, baby gave me the permission to have this layout. Wee.

Guess which shoe is mine? It is the one with the ribbon! Lalala. Anyway, I still have a lot have not yet to be uploaded especially the neo prints! We took 3 different machines on that day specially for formal wear, okay, mine was not that formal actually, but then skirt is hard to find especially for the big-sized cum big-hip me! Boo. Will show you my presentation's layout! I am proud of that layout! ><" Show time!

Actually I have a lot to say, but now its DVD's time! Watching "The Black Sheep"! Jealous of me? Don't be, come Malaysia! You can watch all you want!

"Perfect Stranger" is not what I expected of! The story plot is sucky! T>T Should have shown more sexier scenes! Made me wait so long for it and then it is such a disappointment.

2007-08-02T16:59:00.001+08:00

Finally...

I am back after two months. Intially wanted to close down my blog due to some reasons bascially it is more to my life privacy. But, afterwhich I feel that I should not give up doing something I like because of others. I think someone has been you know thinking why I have not update it and keep coming here to have such a big disappointment. Come to think of it, I do not live for someone but myself. Now I am really confirmed that all girls have the same old sickening nature including myself. Boo, and oh! My Final Year Project 1 is over! That explains why I am busy till that extent.

Everyone who has read about the famous blogger; Xiaxue around going a month ago will sure know about the entry she wrote on the 7 most disgusting bloggers blog. Actually we should not stand on either of the sides be it on xx's side or be it on the ones she mentioned to be in the disgusting category. It is up to one's perception I think. When she states that person to be in that category of disgusting, she has her own way of defining the word "disgusting". I am sure everyone has their own individual definitions of words. It does not apply to the word "disgusting" only. It applies to other words too.

Like, for instance; Happiness.

So... You know if you go around asking everybody this question, each one will have their own criteria to fall in the category of "Happiness", be it joy, money, career, everyone has their own distinct of defining the word. Often, a lot of misunderstandings arise due to different perception of thinkings. So on the bloggers side', if you think you do not fall on the criteria of xx's perception of "disgusting", then do not get bothered by what she said. All humans are not perfect. We have to agree that we are all different. Different looks, different thinkings, different height, size, etc!

So, peace out! Everyone has their own freedom of speech.

If you want me to say who is the ugliest person I have met in this world, I will say is her, (well, not xx, not the bloggers she mentioned, just a she, okay?).

Ugly in my definition does not mean you are ugly okay. I did not mention you are pretty either. So, if you want to know, ask my defintion of the word "ugly" then. But, I am thankful to that particular person making me really learn a lesson on the cruelty of the world. Cannot imagine such a person won't feel guilty at all after what she did and then still backslash me? Impressive right? I hope god will not let me meet such a person ever again in my life, next lifetime, and so.

Over the FYP, I feel that I have leart a lot. Especially in PHP codings! I have a great time with the team too just that somehow something happened in between, and it really triggered a insecureness in it even till now. I guess, time heals. Hope so it does. Yesterday is the presentation day and I am really very nervous about it before that and the worst thing is the projector does not work! Ahh. So shity. So we have to change class to do the presentation. Well, it has been a great exprience for me and everyone in the team is having blisters. Thanks ah, to the shoe because we have to dress formal. And we took real lots of photos, will post it up soon.

Know what? I have been going in and out of Malaysia, Malaysia is good when it is on pirated DVDs. I watched Alone, Dead Silence, Ratatouille (Half Way), Evan Almighty, Perng Mang, Vacancy and The Invisible. Each DVD: 6RM! Where got not worth it?!

Vacancy is not that thrilling at all, not recommended. The Invisible is just a very average plot. Evan Almighty, woot, it is so interesting with all the Noah Ark! Dead Silence is really very nice! Alone (Thailand Movie) too! Perng Mang (Thailand movie, The Haunted Drum), I just watched recently. I do not know why I feel that the plot is very nice but hey, don't read the plot from the website just go and watch it, if not it is not interesting already since you know the plot. Winks.

I simly LOVE thailand movies. Story plot and horror scenes THUMBS UP! Errr, only watch it with baby.

Malaysia rocks for that man! ^^, okay, I got to go! Meeting baby for dinner. Take care everyone, especially, Winnie! Girl, be strong!

Okay, my blog is worth: $3,951.78. I did not expect my blog to be that worth actually.

2007-06-09T21:15:00.000+08:00

New stuffs!

Today is my so called lucky day! My mother brought us to Harvey Norman to take a look at laptop and stuff for my brother but in the end, he got his laptop and I got a 2GB mp3 player and an external 100GB hard disk. That was like so WOO. Like that feeling but somehow it gives me a pressure. Though it was my mother who brought us there but she put the payment on installments and my dad will be the one giving the monthly installment.

That makes me more wary of what my dad expects out from me. He wants me to make it to University. By giving me the things, it just make me so so guilty because I have not been studying well lately. I know that I can score better but at times, I just cannot balance between my studies, relationship and my family. That is the worst part of being into all these at my age. I am more sided to LOVE.

Yea, somehow, at what I experienced in my 19 years of life, alright going to 20, I feel that I am just too young to get into a relationship. Or, perhaps that is just an excuse but somehow I feel a sense of relief that baby is working already and then I can really be focused into a lot of things like having my own time schedule without being always with him in his house and such. Looking back, I seriously waste a lot of time there though I have fun over there! BUT, TIME IS NOT CONSTRUCTIVELY USED! That is the main thing.

The lucky thing is that I will never have the thought of quitting school just for the sake of LOVE and that is the most foolish thing ever. Even how affected I am in LOVE, I will never want to fail my tests and such as in in the whole module. I will at least score a C+ and that is the lowest grade I have in my Polytechnic results now. Can you imagine, I skipped 8 out of 16 modules and get 8 daily grades into account into my final grade and I got a C+? If I did not skip so many bloody times, I will got a B or even a higher one like for my PHP module. Ahh, FCUK. My PHP can get a B+ but just because I skip so many times. Okay, forget it. It is all over.

Just hope that I can use time constructively from today onwards and I know I spend it wisely for 2 days for my FYP and I am glad with that! So, do it man. Show my pontential like what my facilitator always say! FCUK with all the past and work it out now. I will use the holidays wisely for revising what I have been skipping as UTs are on the way when school reopens and I really feel that time is running out for me. So, yeah today is just an exception due to I have been downloading songs to my mp3 player. Tomorrow will be another battle for me. Done with what I am supposed to do for FYP and I can revise. God bless me please.

So these are the pictures of those I got today.

I like the leather case for my hard disk! Looks so cool man. Thats it for now. Miss the mugging days during my secondary school life.

Mug mug mug!

2007-06-05T08:00:00.000+08:00

Vitamin C...

A new product that baby and I saw recently in Malaysia. We bought 1 to try it!

Item Description from Japan Centre:
Look inside any refrigerator in a Japanese convenience store, or watch any commercial break on Japanese TV and you won't have to wait long before you come across these funny little bottles. Like Alice In Wonderland dark glass potion bottles, they contain high energy drinks which could be compared to lucozade and red bull. Advertised for health, energy and strength, they are packed full of vitamins with sports stars often advertising the most popular on television. C1000 Vitamin Lemon contains vitamins C, B1, E, glucose and lemon. LOTS of vitamin C!

This bottle contains 1000mg of VITAMIN C!

I took half a bottle or more yesterday night and I got diarrhea at 6 plus AM thus you see this post now! At first, I thought it is the overnight bread I took but I asked baby, he did not feel weird or whatsoever so I try to google to find more about YOU C1000 Vitamin Lemon, perhaps it causes it and I took more than baby. There is another post of it too saying he felt bloated and such.

Taking high doses of Vitamin C (1000 to 2000 milligrams per day) can cause diarrhea, stomach cramps and nausea. Vitamin C is water-soluble – what your body doesn't use, it flushes out of your system – so these symptoms will usually disappear once the dose of Vitamin C has been reduced.

But, I feel that this is a good solution to say goodbye to constipation that most girls have! It is a natural laxative. When I was in secondary 4, I keep having constipation thus I took hell lots of laxative even up to 10 pills at one go. For the first time, you will feel that it is good as it helps to clear up but for the second time, you need to have more dosage than the previous one to be effective. AND, LAXATIVES CAUSE YOU CONSTIPATION! These few days, I do not have constipation. I went to toilet even up to 4 times a day just to shit. Feel so comfortable! My stomach will not be that bloated and I hate it when it is!

Want to get that bloatness out of your stomach and life? Perhaps, can try to drink half a bottle a day? The flavor of it is not bad. It is not that sour, neither too sweet and a little fizzy! So, get one today! There is orange flavor too. So, get the flavor you pefer more. I am not sure if it is available in Singapore as I got it at Malaysia. Another way is to consume more vegetables, I consumed double consumption of vegetables and fruits compared to meat. I am getting sick of guava. Uh uhh. Fruits is healthy and I think baby is getting tired of me saying I want fruits after every meal. But, baby! You want me to be healthy right? Bang!

Wow, the nutritions in GUAVA is awesome!

...didn't know that!

Extracted from Guava Fruit Nutrition:
Guava are one of the best fruits available. Guava's are cholesterol, saturated and sodium free, plus low in fat and calories. Guava are high in fiber. The edibile rind of a guava contains 5 times more vitamin C than an orange. Guava is a great fruit because it contains key nutrients like: vitamin C, carotenoids, folate, potassium, fiber, calcium and iron. Calcium is typically not found in high amounts in many fruits.

...yea, come on guava baby! shan't say goodbye to you! that explains even more to why i had diarrhea.

HARD FACTS on Vitamin C:
One of the most widely taken supplements in the United States, Vitamin C, also referred to as ascorbic acid, is a very important antioxidant proven to boost the immune system, build collagen, reduce arterial aging and prevent plaque build-up. Your body's ligaments, tendons and collagen need Vitamin C to stay strong and healthy. Vitamin C, as with all antioxidants, also helps to counter the effects of free radicals (cell-damaging molecules) and even helps the body recycle other antioxidants.

United States vitamin C recommendations[37] from Wikipedia:
Recommended Dietary Allowance (adult male) 90 mg per day
Recommended Dietary Allowance (adult female) 75 mg per day
Tolerable Upper Intake Level (adult male) 2000 mg per day
Tolerable Upper Intake Level (adult female) 2000 mg per day

So, I guess You C1000 Vitamin Lemon/Orange is a lot of mg above the recommendations. I am going to nag this product to my mum so that I do not need to fork out a cent out of my own pocket.

...out of a sudden, i thought of going to pub! never been 1 before, hmm?!

2007-06-04T18:59:00.000+08:00

Songs...

Currently, I am so in love with 2 songs. One of the artiste is named, Efraym Elliott Yamin (pronounced Yah-Meen) and his birthday is on July 20, 1978 which falls on the same day and month as my baby's with two years difference! One of his songs is in hits now which is "Wait for you" and I often heard it in the 91.1 MIX FM when I was in baby's car! Highly recommended.

"With the release of his debut album, Elliott Yamin (due March 20, 2007, on Sony/ATV Music Publishing’s Hickory Records), few will believe this accomplished vocalist was once too embarrassed to sing out in his middle-school choir class."

Nice shot man! There it goes...

Hey, it will be auto-played so be patient and let him do the trick.

The other one is Gwen Stefani, "The Sweet Escape". SO BLOODY HOT AND IT TOTALLY ROCKS ESPECIALLY THE LYRICS! (:

... though it was released on December 5th, 2006.

Alright, I am slow. Seriously, I should listen to radio station more! I can get a lot of nice songs from there. Not bad idea uh. Darn, baby's sleeping after his work and I am not feeling comfortable and di's in Mersing. What a shock. We are so near yet so far uh.

... told me that he was in Mersing and then he offline! Thought we can have a chance to meet in Malaysia. Like, DUH! It had been so long since we last met.

A lot of things happen lately. Now, I really do not know who I should trust, apparently I should, only to ME myself. Recently, on my referrer links, there are some friends who keep coming to my blog but know what I found out? Someone has been using their navigations to hide their true self. Like, DUH again?! Someone loves playing mystery games with me when they do not even have the capability to do so. Well, need I dig a hole for you?

Enough of betrayers, back-stabbers, bitches and everything. I thought I can forgive you but no, I give you heaven and you give me hell. Why must I keep being the one letting it go and you the one keep messing up with my life? Your life must be boring.

You are the one who should be paying for all these, not me. Knowing the cruel truth that will hurt you by my ex-boyfriend? I thought you deserve to be sympthasized when I came to know that he lied to you but I was wrong, you are a girl with a black heart. In return, I got betrayed by you and then you made up stories to my ex-boyfriend that I was trying to come in between you two. If you are me, how can you accept it?

It is of no wonder that god makes him cannot forget me and then now and then you go ranting at your blog telling how I am of impact to you. God has eyes. God knows what you are doing. I am glad that my ex did not forget the "Anbelynn & Angelynn" names. Till now, he keep saying that the names are still beautiful. Do you even have the basic manners to his dad or even respect to elderly?

...shan't say much.

You are already planning to fish this guy of yours because he has a car and such. Thick and thin with my ex? Bullshit balls. You are not fit to say that. He told me what sort of person you are. Materialistic is just the word for you. Know what? I like the realistic side of you which that is always my flaw. Those who are practical and realistic can climb faster than those who are not because they can be REAL despicable to get what they want.

Today I was suppose to go home but then I was having a bad headache yesterday thus baby tells me to sleep longer and go home tomorrow due to him being worried about me going home alone as he got work today. So, I spent the day with his mother at home. Ate together with her, had a little chat with her and accompany her to alter her pants. So far, still okay. SHE REMEMBERS MY NAME AND SHE GOT IT CORRECT!

I was surprised. My name always seemed hard to be remembered by others. She was calling me when I was upstairs.

..."Jing Xuan! Xia lai chi fan, zhu hao liao".

She was friendly sometimes and when baby reached home, I gave him a big hug! Just a few hours, I have the "missing-his-presence" feel.

Oh, god!

So, in conclusion.

...shouldn't be nice to those who actually should deserve the bad treatment & not forgiveness for their wrong-doings.

You will never know one day they might give you a bite on your ass which I encounter lots of time when they never learnt their mistake.

I have my limits and patience, we are of ONE kind. Remember that!

...it wasn't a nice feeling at all.

Shall keep it at one post per page.

2007-06-01T16:59:00.000+08:00

Change...

This is going to be a long entry!

LIFE:
I guess it is about time for a change in routine, diet and everything. Well, I do not know whether it will be a good thing for me in the end but then sometimes we just have no choice but to adapt to it especially when baby is working already.

1 June: Baby's first day work. Hope everything will be smooth from 1 June onwards. Prays for it. 16 months together. 2 weeks of holidays from now. Going to have a salad week man. Diet time for me and not to forget coding time for the project as well. It is always so much easier for me to diet when baby is not around.

DIET:
With baby eating beside me OR he telling me what good food there are around the area when he drives OR when he tells me that he is so hungry and he miss whatever food OR telling me what food is nice makes me drool everytime! Alright, there are more to it that he can give. Not to deny, I did give him temptations at times too! Vice versa I guess. Gees. Cheeky me! So, that is why I grow fatter! But, I really do feel very comfortable with him.

So, what my salad contains? Lettuce, cherry tomatoes, new zealand apples, cucumber and I put a spoon of lemon juice on it. Today is the first day of dieting thus I will feel bit of giddy here and there but then no worries. *Winks at baby! My body will soon get used to it and I will not feel giddy as days went by. It is not my first time of dieting okay! It is always tougher for the first few days so I have to just hold back my temptations and baby is working so he has no time to monitor me. Wees. Perfect timing! So, NO MEAT! NO CHOCOLATES! NO ICE-CREAM! NO FRIED FOOD!

ENTERTAINMENT:
Watched Pirates and the Caribbean 3 & Shrek 3. Both are nice and Shrek's 3 little babies are so cute! So hilarious can? Oh, not to forget the donkey's 5 babies are cute too! New breed of dragon with donkey. The donkey's babies can blast at you alright! The popcorn at Jusco(Malaysia) is nice! I think in future, I will just fly to Malaysia to watch movie. Cheap, provided baby has knocked off from work and can drive me there! WAHAHA.

I just watch KMovie: 100 days with Mr. Arrogant on crunchyroll. Romantic genre. 100 Days With Mr. Arrogant is a 2004 South Korean romantic comedy film about a high school senior who accidentally dents a young man's car. Though the damage is minor, he tricks her into believing that it will be expensive to fix and has her sign a contract making her his 'slave' for 100 days. You guys can go watch it! Crunchyroll loads faster than youtube!

Have you guys try out ANYTHING or WHATEVER? I had tried ANYTHING before all thanks to Yike for getting me one after which we could not find it at Causeway Point's Cold Storage but now it is available now at 70 cents each. It is a creative idea seriously to come out with this product when we do not know which flavors we will be driking.

WORDS TO MAMA CELESTE:
I have escaped to Malaysia these few days. Why I say escape? All my friends will know especially Celeste! Talking about Celeste, I do believe that we will meet out one day. I will not let our fate ends like that alright! When my body gets used to the dieting meal, I will go and find you and hope things are fine for you. Do not worry about the future yet. In the present now, do not waste your time worrying, just work for it now. Like this, you will feel better.

Will be getting back on track on studies. I had enough fun. Boo! Hope things will be smooth. Take care all.

2007-05-19T22:50:00.001+08:00

Cool...

Guys... Watch this! This is so cool! (: Babies are simply so adorable...

Boo! I just went shopping with my baby. && I bought a 3-quarter pants and another cargo shorts. I think the sales lady there is pissed with me due to that I keep asking my baby for opinions and views because he worked in DKNY & Burberry before thus obviously I trust him more than her. So I know whether it is worth it to buy or not. So! My baby is professional alright?! Laughs. Even Yike says my clothing taste changes after meeting baby and she says my baby has a better taste but I do not mind her saying that because I wear for my baby to see. The only thing is that I prefer revealing kind and he? NO SPAG, HALTER, LOW-CUT ETC. T>T SAD! So, there you go I always wear cardigan with spag, etc. SAD RIGHT?!

But, it is okay, I LOVE MY BABY.

Our everyday phrase to each other...

Baby to me: 小猪猪, 胖嘟嘟...
Me to baby: 大猪猪, 胖噜噜!!!

HAHAHA.

Sighs, I hope Celeste MAMA enjoyed last night's birthday dinner. I am so sorry. But, MAMA, can I date you next Wednesday? Let's go out since we miss each other so much. (: If you read this, do give me a tag. TAKE CARE BABE.

2007-05-19T11:53:00.000+08:00

WOOT...

This guy, Daniel Henney is so HOT! Especially in "Seducing Mr. Perfect"! But, heard from di, he is a GAY! Dammit. Why handsome guys always choose to be gays? Shakes head.

Wah, this woman here has those charisma. She is not pretty actually but she do has those features. SEXY WOMAN!

(: Perfect match in the movie! Romantic show. Gees. Nice plot! Thumbs up.

Recently I am in Malaysia. I watch a lot of DVDs here. Cheap and clear.

Watched Recent Moives on DVDs on...

Don't Look Back: Malay movie.
Letters of Death: Nice plot, I strongly encourage this!

Watched movies on...

Blade of Glory: WAH! YOU LAUGH LIKE CRAZY IF YOU WATCH THIS!

&&

Hills have eyes: Gross!
Spirit of Victim: Horror! T>T

That's all.

My baby scolds me stupid for being guilty after insulting her when I do not even know her but he is wrong, we are friends for days once. We even talked on phone before. Forget it, she chooses this not me. She chooses to be my foe isn't it? && I never lie to you before. That's what I wana say after all these. Choose to believe or not to.

I hate to insult but you made me no choice.

2007-05-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

Balls...

What an idiot, seriously you don't need to act okay. You should jolly well admit for your actions. What for did you deny? What an actor. No wonder, you only know how to talk big in blog. In real life? I guess you will need a hole to hide that is why you do not like to go WestMall. Coward. Like, DUH! Oh, I get it. You need a mask to cover your cheap sluty bitchy looks right? Stop denying alright? No need to do that please, no one will look at you. And I guess, you wore a push up bra to cover your balls as well. That explains why you are so in love with balls. Who knows? But, I guess that will not help because it is a fact that they are SMALL! Smart alex.

Yea yea, I went to your blog. Your tracker will do the job for you. I know, but that shows how much I was fcuk care by your tracker. Great job, tracker. You make me the limelight of someone's topic again.

Oh, just cut the crap man. I am the one going to your blog and tell you what. My baby is not even bloody interested in your blog and I am the one going to your blog in his house. I want to see your downfall and practically that is what you want me to say in my blog right? I grant you that. If you are not happy, Angela Wong you can just simply change your ball link. (:

Listen up, you did come to my blog, I can bet with my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTE MAMA.

At least, I am not as coward as someone who always deny and then don't dare to mention the person she is saying about.

Ain't that your pattern, Miss Angela Wong?

Yea yea, I know you will say you are not talking about me but hell with it. There are so many people with that name and surname.

THAT'S ALL BALLS.

You make my life more interesting than ever.

Enough of your bullshit balls. LOL!

&& WINNIE! SERIOUSLY YOU ROCK MY LIFE!

2007-05-16T13:15:00.000+08:00

Quiz...

By Winnie's recommendations:

BYEBYE!

2007-05-16T12:22:00.000+08:00

Songs...

MAMA! That top for my mother, sorry. MAMA! I got real bad news! I cannot turn up for dinner on Friday. Sudden changes in FYP meeting and I cannot postpone it, so sorry but I got you the birthday present you want already. Sighs.

Anyway, busy with finance accounting questions now. So, shall blog later about the songs.

2007-05-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

Malaysia...

I am back! Anyone misses me? Sighs. I do not know why but now I really miss Malaysia. Perhaps it is due to baby having a car now and that really urge me to stay there but NO! Tomorrow having Microeconomics's lesson and UT after that. So, that means I cannot pon! NO PONNING! I am good these few weeks alright! I am really behaving a lot better than last semester, I MEAN IT IS A LOT BETTER!

One day, baby! Chiong to Genting! Cheeky smile. I want to go Genting with you. Just the 2 of us please! One day. One fine day when baby is comfortable with driving. Gees! But, come to think of it, baby should be starting work very soon. I am sad! Wepts. I want to go KL. I want to go Genting. I want to go to a lot of places. I do not want to be stuck in a small red dot in Singapore! Bring me! Bring me away from this red dot.

Sighs, start saving up! I want to get more skirts. (: I want to go to Malaysia to have fun during that 2 weeks holidays but then I think by that time baby's schedule cannot make it. See how then. 3 more weeks, I am having my holidays. Woot! So, I need to try to save as much as I can so as to enjoy my holidays there!

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers in the world!

I bought a top for my mama!

Baby, I miss sleeping beside you && how dare you watch show in the middle of the night while I was asleep!

Hor hor.

You do not cherish me!

(:

Well, I do!

2007-05-09T22:45:00.000+08:00

Bibi...

2007-05-06T13:17:00.000+08:00

Tears...

Msn status: [xxuan hates to cry!] T>T, that drama "One Litre of Tears" makes me cry and cry especially at the end of the espisodes. Sighs. Life is just fragile. I now understand why my mother hates to cry and she always say what is there to cry. Perhaps, she really been through a lot without telling us. That is just my assumption. I am not sure either. She does not like to talk about the past.

After breaking with Oswald, that 3 months, I cry to sleep every night, that is why now I hate to cry even till the extent of how hurt I am. If can, I will try my really best to control my tears. I do not want it to flow. When it flows, I feel so useless. I could have been stronger!

If I had never been together with Oswald, so many things will not change. Before I know him, I can cry super easily and I will not try to stop the flow and now its the opposite. I guess that 3 months of tears to sleep really made me change. I think he is happy with his life now with a girl he likes now. So, all the best and seriously if I will to cross-path with him now, the way I look at him will be very different already. His vow is just fake. It is just a bullshit thing to me. A feeling of betrayal.

I thought he is one who is true about his words and such. When I look at his everything now, I feel that its already very super different. I overlook him. No matter how all my friends say that he is just giving an excuse to ditch me off, I keep telling myself he is not this kind of guys. I am just decieving myself. So, yes, got to keep telling myself he is not the one that I am with last time. He is not that Oswald I used to fall for. Those who are reading my blog sure laugh at me right? Sighs, even if you all are laughing at me, it is still a fact that he broke up with me just for that reason. So, I will just swallow it down.

He is selfish. He is thoughtful. He is one cold-blooded person. He is breaking up with me because he said he loved me and he wanted to let me go. Whatsoever. I am just trying to hide his negative side from the truth. I hate it. It hurts me more.

Skip that, BYTCH!

I took a lot of neoprints this week. I will just post a few. Lazy to cut and such. TADA!

TOO BIG, CLICK HERE!

I watched the Spidey yesterday! HAHA! I actually did not want to go but bibi says he wants! So, I went! Not bad actually seriously. No comments either.

LOVE MY BIBI!

At least he did not once betrayed my trust no matter how hurt he was by me!

(:

I LOVE YOU!

Happy 15 Months Anniversary! I was late but then I did post it okayyyy && I did not forget it on the actual day! Gagaga.

MAMA! I UPDATE ALREADY! LALALA!

I post about you too. HAHA!

2007-04-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

Shit...

My deepest secret! I like to eat ice cream like this.

Laughs!

Look like shit?

I LOVE IT LOTS MAN! ITS REALLY NICE!

2007-04-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

Photos...

Vroom! Asia Republic Airline belongs to TEAM B!

Logo.

Nice?! Hees. Credit goes to me! (:

No stealing of work. Boo.

The Efficient Airline Booking System - TEAM B will never lose out! Know why?

ITS OUR PROPOSAL!

By hook or by crook, we gona get it done nicely & we got our strategy!

FYP TEAM B: Winnie, Yike, Shi Hui & Jing Xuan. With lots of love... (:

2007-04-26T12:57:00.000+08:00

Fate...

Sighs, had a dispute with baby again! This time round, quite serious but it was over already. I do not know why. Perhaps, our fate is helping us survive this round again. Recalling back when I went to the two different temples to ask for a lot on our relationship like whether he is my future husband, both gives me good lots. Seriously, there was a lot of times whereby we can easily say goodbye to each other for good.

Like for instance, I recalled my baby was angry with me that I took out his ring because of a dispute again and that he decided to go back to Malaysia and never come back again. That time, I saw him leaving my house door and I did practically nothing alright! It is not beacause I do not want him to stay. It was because I was stunned and my mind was like in a blank stage. I do not know what to say to him either. Know what? Fate helps! He forgot to bring his house key and then he came back. He saw me stunning in the living room. I think he felt that I was very affected by his farewell and thus he came and have a look at me. I cried like hell and he said I win by crying.

Maybe all of you feel that he was just saying without meaning it when he says he is not coming back. I know his character well. He keep emphasising to me that if one day he is leaving me or things like that, he will not find me ever again alright. How heartless a cancerian can be when they are determined on this kind of issues? Same goes for Oswald as they both has the same horoscope. Say me superstitious then.

Not only the lot shows me that we are fated. There are far more coincidences we faced. Few days back, my friend asked me a few questions on my relationship. Seriously a lot of people asked me this question. What makes me choose my baby?

Firstly, I do not mind him being fat. I do mind him being a little taller than me because I love tall guys can! Okay, nevermind, that is not so important at least he is still taller than me! I had become very wary of the guy I am dating with since I broke up with Oswald. Yes, he made me feel very unsecure in love ever since then. Sometimes, I feel like giving up on love. I encountered too many failures in love and I fell too deep because I dump all my 100% in. I felt I am such a fool at times. What to do? God gives me this to go through to make me stronger.

But am I stronger now? Perhaps, it is a reverse psychology. It only makes me lost confidence in dating. So I tell myself to find a guy who can give me shelter of love and stablitly in a relationship. So I put my standard higher on character-wise and not on looks. I cannot afford to be hurt again! NO NO NO!

So being frank, baby's patience and the secureness he gave me in this relationship is the key to my heart man. Without this, I will never stay so long with him! (: I still feel that looks is not important as long as that guy can give you happiness and that you two can get along well in terms of that there is not too much of a character clash, JUST GO FOR THE RELATIONSHIP!

Been chatting with mama Celeste yesterday. Had not have a really good chat with her since we left secondary school. Mama, you got to be strong alright! Let me, your daughter be the healer of your heart. Take care and lets "PIA" for our GPA together! I want to upload my FYP team's photos here! T>T Why photobucket maintanence at such a time!

AHHH. CHEERS to FYP team!

2007-04-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

Shag...

Today woke up at 3 plus and then called dear wake up. Met di to eat. I do not know why. When I wake up, I feel like having a hair-cut. Di accompanied me to the salon just now. The lady was like saying that my hair was very long. She asked me if I wanted to keep the length like this and I was like saying... YES! Laughs! I want to keep my hair long alright perhaps till my arse. Soon, a few more cm to go, max; 5cm to go. WEE!

And I do not know why, after hair-cut, feel like trimming my eye-brown. Dots. What happen to me today? Perhaps too shag last few days thus today I want to do things to pamper myself. Arghs. I realise when school reopens till today, I have not saved much money and I decided to save up from tomorrow onwards for my N73 and friends' upcoming birthday presents especially marcus and mummy celeste's ones.

I cannot miss that out! They are my buddies back in secondary school time okay. They are once bridges in my life, even till now, they are still one! My pimples is getting better, I hope it will recover soon before I turn 20! I want to make-up can! Besides saving, I can slim down. Laughs. Kill 2 birds in 1 stone. My singtel handphone line contract is ending in September. I wanted to change it to Starhub after that. Singtel and m1 charge per minute and then Starhub charges per second, so if right for instance for Singtel's case, 1 minute and 5 seconds outgoing call to that particular person was rounded up to 2 minutes for charges.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT WORTH IT!

This is what di told me. Seriously, I feel that di and me are back on track with friendship. Baby do not get jealous okay? We are good friends, as simple as that. Having di by my side is important as well. Lets support each other till the end of life. Di, do have confidence in your looks, you can make it to modelling! I will look up for the modelling agency for you. That is the least a jie should do right? Make sure by hook or by crook you go for the interview. No excuses!

(:

Sighs. At times, I miss my baby a lot. Besides that, I feel that time with baby is not a lot nowadays. Yesterday had a little dispute over some silly things but then it is settled very fast. For baby, lets love each other till the end of life. I LOVE YOU!

Baby, I have some things to say about you. You know what? Sometimes I love looking at your eyes. And I do not know why, next I will look at your face. And I do not know why, after looking at your face, I have a feeling I cannot describe. Perhaps...

ITS THE FEEL OF WANTING YOU TO BE MINE THIS LIFETIME.

Laughs! Seriously, I do not know how to describe that feel too. Dots.

Baby at the back of his mind sure thinks this way.

"Ya lor, no wonder that day she keep looking at me. Then I ask why she looks at me, she says nothing.", LOL!

If baby is never fat, he will have been so handsome. T>T It is alright because your heart is pure! Lalala.

Miss ya loads!

Sarang Haeyo.

Dedicated to di:
Lets support each other till the end of life.

Dedicated to baby:
Lets love each other till the end of life.

2007-04-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

Ewww...

You are The Moon...

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Geb

Engaging personality, sensitive, modest, occasionally narcissistic, but can rise above vanity.

Colors: male: violet, female: rose
Compatible Signs: Set, Horus
Dates: Feb 12 - Feb 29, Aug 20 - Aug 31

Role: God of the earth
Appearance: Green-skinned man, with leaves all over his body and a goose on his head. Sometimes he was shown laying on his side under his wife, the sky goddess Nut.
Sacred animals: goose

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock.

2007-04-20T19:45:00.000+08:00

Anti-beef...

Sighs. I just cannot get use to eating beef, even just beef meatballs. Arghs. Sadded. I will just vomit straight. What to do? My stomach rejects it. Oh yes, today is Friday! Wees. Weekend break for all of us especially my FYP team. Good job guys! We are on the super right track. Hees. Hope we can finish it faster.

That girl only just updated her blog not long ago. Well, what can I actually say? Since she still want to carrying on saying whatever she wants, go ahead, I cannot seal your blog's entry right? Neither can I break your hands. I am not the one who is getting the karma. I did not say you either. Unless you...

"Xin zhi du ming."

Bear that in mind. The most I give in, I close one eye.

"Da ren bu ji xiao ren guo!".

Oh, did I mention who is the "da ren" and who is the "xiao ren"? I did not, so it is up to you to think which particular role fits you well perfectly. Winks. We will not meet each other again anyway. Prays hard man! Aiya, if I meet the person, the most I treat her as transparent or a ghost. Hees. Oh, I am scared!

Hmm, about some issues... From di's jie's blog, I perfectly agree that we girls have this sick habit. I guess its all girls' nature to view others' blog, you know even strangers' blog. Nature as in being nosey in every people' life. I am one of them. This I will not deny. That is the fact. So well, we are all the same in the earth. Woman's nature. What to do? Laughs!

Yeah, I am one...

BIG-TIME KAYPO-ER. (:

What can you do to me? Boo.

Time for my project planning schedule.

Busy as usual. Time to say goodbye...

2007-04-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

Busy...

Argh. So busy with FYP these few days. Everyday stay back at library. What to do? We suffer now so that we can slack later on. I am really happy with my team! At least, I am with my close friends who can play hard and work serious when we should. It is the way to the completion of FYP man! Gees.

How come that somebody has not updated her blog yet? Hmm. Weird. I thought she will flare up in her blog once again. Like duh, she is always like that! That is her nature I guess? If she will not, pigs can fly. Let us wait till tomorrow then.

So shag. Tomorrow has to stay back again to do the project plan. I tried just now but I have forgotten some of it. Need team's help again! Hees. On the way back from school, I nearly over-slept and missed my house bus-stop. It is like so dots. The lucky thing is that I woke up the moment when the bus is going to reach the bus-stop and someone did press the bell. But know what? I bang my head when I was standing up. So dots. I think I must have been drained these few days.

I do not have enough money to spend when we do not have a maid and I have to eat out every single day and every single meal. I am having second thoughts like should I ask my mother for more? Hmm. I do not know. I will try to survive with 10 bucks then. I will really try. Sighs, since this is the life god has given me.

(:

Hope I will be good just for this last year and get good grades without skipping school. Striving for at least GPA 3.0 or above. That is my aim.

LALALA.

BABY!

"I am so going to be busy but I will try to show you more love as that is the least I should do."

Very nice song indeed. Founded in Debris Queen's blog.

你是我宝贝...

我一直在寻找
可爱的微笑
今天终于让我找到
我希望你知道
我不是开玩笑
今天才发现了你的好
你有特别的味道
让我神魂颠倒
我想我一定是中了招
呜美丽在燃烧
我快控制不了
Wu..........
其实我不错
可以考虑我
什么都可以
Just don't say no
我们手牵手
沙滩走一走
只要跟你在一起就足够
希望你能当我宝贝
你一定不会后悔
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
永远不让你流泪
永远都不让你心碎
希望你相信我
我们在一起好吗
你有特别的味道
让我神魂颠倒
我想我一定是中了招
呜美丽在燃烧
我快控制不了
Wu..........
其实我不错
可以考虑我
什么都可以
Just don't say no
我们手牵手
沙滩走一走
只要跟你在一起就足够
希望你能当我宝贝
你一定不会后悔
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
永远不让你流泪
永远都不让你心碎
希望你相信我
我们在一起好吗
希望你能当我宝贝
你一定不会后悔
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
永远不让你流泪
永远都不让你心碎
希望你相信我
我们在一起好吗
希望你能当我宝贝
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
只要你相信我
只要你相信我
希望你能当我宝贝
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
永远不让你流泪
永远都不让你心碎
希望你相信我
我们在一起好吗
[完]

LALALA. Sayonara!

2007-04-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

Thoughts...

Hmm. Just blog about my random thoughts. I thought years has passed and we or every one in the earth will just move on with what we have in our current life and let the past go but obviously someone has not get over it. Practically somebody is still holding on to the past. Perhaps that is the kind of life they want to live with. Well, It does not concern me but I do feel that they are very pathetic. They should learn to forgive and forget.

Does trying to get back at people by insulting/provoking/cursing make you very happy? If hatred lies in your heart now and then, do you not feel tired? For me, I feel it is childish. I am just a stranger or passerby in your life. So, please just move on. Do not waste time trying to get back at me, I will just feel that you are whining over the past. If you feel happy without having a guilty conscience, then I guess there are a lot more for you to experience throughout your entire life.

There are more to life and there are more meaningful things that you can do. I will rather you spend the time trying to think of sentences that can provoke me giving more love to your friends or family. At least, it is definitely more worth it. Just live your life and I will just do the same. I do not like to dig up the past to quarrel with you so do what you are supposed to do. Simply find it immature to settle what it has been over years ago when we are not even close.

Life has been meaningless if you keep living in the past. Anyway, I have no more hatred towards every of my ex boyfriends and thank you to those who have loved me before. At least, I am even once worth of your love. Those who have let me down, I am glad that you all know what to do next time and of course, I have let them down too in some ways, so do pardon me and thank you for the experiences you gave me.

Through experiences, we learn.

My favourite sentence...

"Even if we are no longer together, I still want to thank you for everything you have done for this relationship."

Baby...

You are a really great boy-friend! (:

Pinch your cheeks!

If whatever I am trying to put across cannot make you digest, then it is okay, forget about what I typed then. That is it!

You know who you are...

meltedKISS - 6X currently at Delphinus.

Married to meltedLOVE with happiness...

This is going to be the next set meltedKISS is going to wear when the cash items expired! Pink and cute!

See ya!

2007-04-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

Maple Contest...

THE BABY SET! (:

I hope it really win the contest. Hope so. Lucks please.

Click here for My Creation!

I want the baby set so much! =D. My drawing is bad, pardon me okay. Tomorrow school starts. Miss didi, miss keke, miss winnie, miss so many people except my baby! Know why? Because...

WE MEET TOO MUCH!

Lalala.

Baby shall say..

"Piggy baby!".

LOVE YA!

2007-02-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

Idiot Maple...

I do not want to go for Maple event anymore! Arghs. Grr. Nevermind, forget it. Anyway, went out with Winnie today. Went to dine in at Yoshinoya again! Giggles. I love japanese food. I will prefer to eat Unagi Set but you know unagi is never cheap! So, I choose to dine in at Yoshinoya instead. Poor me.

Then we saw a pushcart selling nail arts. So, I bought one pink nail polish, one nail clipper and one nail art pen.

TA DA!!!

My first nail art!

I know it is not really well done, but do pardon me and of course I need more time to master it! Need to get more color for the art pens. Laughs!

Boring day for me. Yawns. I do not find anything excited about Chinese New Year. Hais. But!!! I just want the red packets! More please.

Lalala.

2007-02-15T13:00:00.000+08:00

Valentine...

I have a very fun and loving baby with me on Valentine's day. Not to forget to mention, ta da! My dearest DARIE! Okay, actually I celebrated with dear in the park with a cake. This is the first time I celebrated Valentine's Day with a cake. Roses I had before but this year the size of the rose is different. It is a huge red one. Laughs! I simply love roses. Different sizes as long it has very beautiful petals and very reddish red. We celebrated on 13 February instead.

Then on 14 February, Darie celebrated with me! We had a couple set at Yoshinoya at Causeway Point. Bought each other roses as well as a balloon. Piglet ballon for me and a dolphin ballon for her. Had a great day! We took neoprints too. There are a lot of people taking neoprints! Laughs. Show you one of the pictures Darie was so cute at it! Shhh. Keep it to yourself. Laughs! I lazy to resize, so bear with it and click the link if you want to see the pictures!

Valentine's Day 2007 - Darie & darie!

Valentine's Day 2007 - The piglet ballon & the stalk of rose.

2 months 1 week holidays had started. Huray! Wees. Know what. One more week! My birthday! Darie was like keep asking me what I want for my birthday. I said I want her. Laughs. Actually I just my baby and my friends to remember that I am getting older for goodness sake. Laughs! That is the thoughts that count. Giggles.

The pictures below are taken when baby and me are in the park! Red roses, cake and US! Smiles.

Valentine's Day 2007 - The BIG red rose.

Valentine's day 2007 - The cake with 2 roses.

Valentine's day 2007 - US.

The dog I played with. Its name is 小胖. Laughs! Its FAT!

Finally, the sunset! I love being with my baby though he "PMS" at Valentine's day 2007. Lets see on 2008 then. Laughs!

Sunset.

I am playing Ghost Online now. Gees. Ciaos guys. Hope baby will always be my valentine every year.

2007-02-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU!

Yesterday did quarrel with baby but I hold back my tears. I still love him a lot! So there I go, I send an sms saying "I still love you!". So silly baby I have. Sighs, I know I am demanding. I know, I know and yet I still insist on wanting baby to fit in every part I want from a boy friend. Bad girl friend I am. It is a bonus if my boy friend is romantic in a way or so. That is the way to keep a relationship's flame going is it?

Next Wednesday is Valentine's day! Wee! Baby actually played Maplestory for 9 hours just to get that roses for me. I had 3 red ones and 3 yellow ones. Wow, I really love red ones lots! Love you baby! I did not know it is a pole arm. When I saw that in hidden-street.net, I was like going goo gaa over that. I want the red one! I msn baby straight and he said he got it. Immediately, I went to connect with rpguest and went Maplestory to get that from him. I was so so so eager and so so so delighted today! Baby, you are simply so lazy. You know ways to be romantic but you are so LAZY! Well, I still love you!

I am going to take part in the Maplestory Valentine's Day Screenshot! Hope that the roses he get for me let me win in that! Smiles! Lucks please everyone!

Another thing is our team final year project proposal is being accepted! So much for our hardwork girls! Lets start with planning! I cannot imagine applying SDLC into the project. Oh my god! System Analysis Life Cycle! Shit with it. 2 more days! I AM GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN!

Oh, darie! Do not forget our date on Valentine's day! Love you darie!

2007-02-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

Yoo Hoo...

Crys. I am back from Kickboxing! Getting tougher and tougher. I think the instructor does not like me. Crys. She keeps saying I am doing the wrong punch or movement. Laughs. I think I am just not fit for punching. Perhaps that is my nature? I do not have violence background you see. So, chocolate piie does not need to get so worried about me being more violence. Laughs! Okay, I am just crapping.

Try doing like about 30 minutes of exercises. Skip, Punch right, Punch left, Squat and defend, jump sideway and punch to the left, hook your shoulder punch upwards, etc. Do 8 krunches if not wrong after the exercises to stretch your muscles, I do not know how to spell that "kruches". Hold it there for the last kruch for 8 counts. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8. Feel the ache? If you do not feel it means you did not do well on the exercises cause I really feel it. Aching like hell. Crys.

Anyway, I am busy with business these few days. Spend a lot of time doing designs and such. This is the first time I start a small one but I am already putting like more than 100% of my heart into it. If it bursts, I will definitely cry. Do not laugh at me. I really put in a lot of effort in that.

Wish me lucks guys. If you can, do support! I guess the time to reveal the kind of business I am doing will be around 16 of February. Do check it out alright? I love my chocolate piie. He is always saying that I will not blog so much about him. Laughs. He is doing me a tuna sandwich. Baby, I want huge one. Huge enough to let me gobble all at once! Laughs! That is a special discount for you, baby. Do you know that roses are more expensive than that? All I want for valentine's day is that tuna bread or whatever handmade by you. Not you. Lalala but all I want for my birthday is you. Laughs.

"Jahat jahat aku. LOL."

I should be the one making the bread right? I am a girl, a lady-wanabe.

Well, till the next time! (^-')V! Right baby? I did not force you. Is you yourself agree to it. Giggles.

Know what? Few days back I record baby's and my conversation on the handphone. It was darn funny. Laugh my head off when I listen to it again and again. Laughs but not going to let you all have a chance to hear that. Boo. That is between baby and me. Lalala. Okay, I am bad. I am just kidding.

Long entry post or not, my baby?

You also "jahat jahat"!

2007-01-30T13:08:00.002+08:00

Lalala...

So, these are the free tickets I have got. Giggles.

Anyway, do you believe in biting your shoes before you wear them? I actually do not believe it till I do it today. My shoes bite me! So pain, blisters. Oh my god. Lin, Winnie and Carrin was like saying I should bite in the first place, laughs! I had never bite any shoes before in my entire life. So I give it a big bite in the toilet just now. Phew, feel so much better. I wonder is it got to do with "mental consolation"? Hmmm...

I miss my baby! Loads...

2007-01-30T12:39:00.000+08:00

Hurt...

Note: This post is created on January 29, Time: 10:22PM.

Just now before going home, I saw him again in the bus interchange. How i wish I can graduate as soon as possilbe. Like that, I will not see him forever in my life. In the bus, I sidetrack a lot. When I always see him, it hurts. It still hurts lots. He said before that he did not hurt me as much as all my ex hurt me but he was very wrong. The hurt he gave was not comparable to all my ex. I was fcuking hurt! Did you get it into your head or you need me to drill it into?

At least, all my ex gave explaination or account to the relationship but you gave an reason (I am being nice by not saying excuse) that every girl cannot accept. I hate it when guys are irresponsible in relationship. I always tell darie that sometimes I really wish that I can grab his shirt and confront him (As if I have the "leopard courage"), "Why the hell did you do this to me?". I am really serious. Darie knows about it. Or in another way, why in the first place you wanted to start that relationship with me? Ahhh, FCUK! Nevermind I am just ranting. Shall keep my cool. Hello? I really did contribute a lot for that 3 months, you know it best. So dude, do I deserve that? You also will not answer if I ask you. Dots.

When I sidetrack, I keep thinking of my baby because my heart really hurts darn lots. Really feel like tearing at that point of time but luckily dear called me and that really curb that emotion in ruling my head.

I really need baby and I love you...

"Baby's still the best of the best!" Giggles.

Fine, 1 year plus more to go before graduating, and I shall say bye to him. Now I understand, why is it that it is better not to see each other again. I know, you are super happy with your single life now. You can do whatever you want without any restrains. Anyway, that does not concern with me anymore. Okay, I have got the tickets from Cineleisure! $13 for free. Laughs!

We took taxi there because that bus 187 do not know stuck at whichever place in Singapore. We wait for like 20 minutes? No bus at all. We reached the aerobic studio at around 7.50PM I guess? I am super tired. Jump and punch, bla bla bla. Very tiring. My house that line socket is faulty thus no internet for me, sighs so I have to type in notepad first.

Currently, the time is 10:22PM. Okay, time to missed call my baby so that he will call me back. Life is really not the same with my baby around. Perhaps, he was the healer of my heart cum the owner of my heart? Laughs!

Love you baby...

Time to sleep. Have to turn in before 11PM, it is good for skin. Baby not here to pat me to bed, how sad? Weeps.

2007-01-29T13:26:00.000+08:00

Today's the 29th...

I am super hyper now. Laughs! I miss my baby a lot! Happy 1st year anniversary my baby. Really glad that you come into my life. One year passed already, hope that we can stay together for this lifetime. Anyway, I have created a blog for my baby.

Click here for my 1st year anniversary gift for my baby.

I am having lots of fun these days.

There are 6 cute little puppies. I am carrying one of them only. Laughs. So cute! I have decided to get one puppy when I get married to... Who knows? Laughs!

Someone bought this for me. She is so good! Good good good! Thumbs up. Smiles.

Bought these 2 items. Woot. I got my shoes and bag with my dress. The bag can be played around. Laughs. Worth it afterall. I have got my converse track pants as well for $30.

Done for my shopping day!

Boo. Today's day is quite packed. Later I have to go down to Cineleisure to collect free preview tickets screening "Seducing Mr. Perfect". So baby and me got free tickets to watch on 13 February! Wee.

After going Cineleisure, I got to go home to get changed. Remember, my kickboxing lesson starts today!

Exercise!

Lalala.

2007-01-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

Fcuk...

Fcuk that girl call Alice. Fcuk off man! Few months back, I remember you saying that that is your picture. And I did asked whether that is you. Yes, I admit that photo you showed me very chio but hey! You do not need to use another girl's photo and claimed that she is you right? FUCK. I check in friendster and I found out that that one you sent me was faked by you.

So, what have you got to say now? Idiot. You bloody idiot have no integrity. Can see what a slut you are, BIATCH! You make me a fool. Bloody hell.

I have been good nowadays. I did not miss lessons when another 1/4 of semester 2 starts. I have decided.

Rebonding on 13 February!

Hope not many customers are there in my Aunt's salon!

5 hours. Oh god please bless me.

Oh before that, I need to go have a hair-cut.

Seems like my face is getting better! Thanks for those who comment on it! 2 more weeks to have a better result. Cannot wait! If my face gets really better, I want to put my fringe down. Dam..

Differin gel for pimples save my youth and money, do check it out here. $22 for the 30g gel I got from the private clinic near my house. 30g can be used for 2 weeks plus. Lots of Thanks to debris princess for introducing me this. It really works! I still owe you a meal but wait till I fully recover okay? Soon already!(:

Onion head is cute, check it out here.

4 MORE DAYS TO ... <3

Oh, I forgot I met another same-kind BIATCH in maple just now. Despo BIATCH.

What happen to girls nowadays?

Dots.

Sighs, I hate ORANGES! Yes, I know it can help me to have a nicer complexion so I am eating at least one each day.

BUT WHY ORANGES?

Sighs, I have been avoiding fried food and chili, for 2 weeks plus, I MISS KFC, I MISS MAC, OMG!

**Ah hem, dear says I miss KFC and MAC more than him.

... "Okay lahs, I miss you too la. LOL."

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS THEM? Diet diet diet, I shed off 5kg/10kg. Half way to go. Ahhh. I am losing faith in myself. I have been exercising too. Hope the kickboxing exercising can help me in it! Starting on next Monday.

Sighs...

2007-01-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

Sighs...

Sighs. Love is such a strange thing. Well, what I am going to say is it is not the end of the world yet. Still remembered how hard rock songs accompanied me through the days of being ditched. That was not nice at all, trust me. Being ditched or a break-up is not the end yet, there are more to life. There are really a lot more to it. Being not able to stand up from failure is the worst ever. When you do stand up after many sheds of tears, you will be stronger and much more stronger than before. That is when your thinkings start to mature and change. Thinkings are changed through experiences.

Xiaokeai chatted with me yesterday. I was like saying I do not know how the future lies. So I do not want to think so much now like whether my mummy going to accept my baby because he is a Malaysian. Well, we are not getting married yet so it will only waste my brain cells. Some may think I am heartless or it is when baby is going to read the sentence "We are not getting married yet.". Do not be mistaken. We should be mature in treating relationships now. I am 19 soon. How long more I am supposed to be lingering around relationships? I have already encountered 3 different endings of relationships and seriously, that is super enough for me.

First year anniversary is like coming for baby and me but thinking back, he is the third guy I am going through 1 year with. THREE not one. So should I be very super excited about it? Yes, I am because we are proceeding to our 2nd chapter of our love story but still how long more can we stay like this? Doubts. Nah, I should not even care about that question over the future. I should just stay at the pace I am at now. No matter what baby, even if one fine day, we are to go on our separate ways, be it whose fault, I still want to say...

"Thanks for everything that you have done for this relationship.". If that day comes, I will weep, I will cry and then move on again. I mean If.

Do not be mistaken again baby. I will want to stay like this till we grow old but I am just not sure whether we can make it or not but still I want to give you and me a chance to be together for as long as we can.

I love you.

After the encounters in relationships, I personally feel that it is best to set your standard in finding attributes for a husband because this way you will not waste each other time to heal hurts as well as each other time. If one does not qualify for it, so be it and just reject. There are more choices you see. I will not be stupid again. Not in relationships anymore.

So, baby if one day you change the way you treat me, I am going to reject you also. Laughs! Beware of your actions. Laughs.

(:

2007-01-16T19:27:00.001+08:00

Sorry...

Sunday:

Went to pray at 10am. Laughs. I know my god sister's secret! Though I feel that its sudden and fast for them, still congratulations! Cheers. Then daddy brought us to West Coast there to eat lunch. Realise that mummy has a habit of asking daddy to treat us eat every Sunday! Smiles. After lunch, mummy, my youngest brother and me went to Queensway!

My another brother said he was very sleepy due to entertaining his friends till very late the night before thus he wanted to go home straight to catch nap. Laughs. So, we so called went shopping. In the end, mummy bought a Nike cross training shoes for me. The usual price was $106++, then reduced to $88. So, whoever wanted to get sports shoes, I encouraged you to go Queensway! Cheaper price! Mummy bought a top with hat and black with purple strips behind for me as well. I do not know why but I find clothes with a hat behind very adorable. Laughs!

Actually wanted to buy colar t-shirt like those office-wear one but in the end I drop the idea. Perhaps it was too mature for me to take it though I am nineteen soon. Oh my god. I am really getting older. Sad. Mummy went to buy a top and jeans. So the day ended with this.

Monday:

I do not have school on Monday and Tuesday due to open house. So yes, dear met me yesterday. Went to Vivo City to get stuffs I wanted. Hula hoop, shoe bag and towel. In the end, I bought the shoe bag and towel from Fila. The hula hoop from Toys r Us. Stupid Vivo City. So huge. Arghs. Walk very far, legs very tired. Till now, I still do not know how to shake that hula hoop. So disgraceful.

After that, we went back to my house there to eat lunch. I took chili and I really regretted eating chili! It causes more outbreaks again. Hais. I should have controlled but I eat less than usual already. I never touch chili for a week or so. I think I really should give up chili if I want to have good complexion. So, I made up my mind not to touch it already. Control, control and control!

Baby went back at night. Sighs. Something happened before that. Sorry baby. I know it hurts you but I did not mean to keep my ex's stuff. Baby found out that I keep Oswald's stuff. I know you want me to forget him completely but I can tell you these are solely for memorial sake. I do not know why I cannot bear to dump it away. Perhaps, within that three months, these were what that was left after that short few months thus I really want to keep it.

Hais. When baby said he wanted to help me dump it away, I stunned and then say cannot. It is not because I still love him. Yes, I know baby is helping me to get rid of those stuff that will hurt me if I keep them. I am really touched you did not walk out on me when you saw all these. Yes, I cried but it was not because of his things, it is because I have someone like baby who really wish to protect me from sadness and hurts. Baby knows if I saw this and read his letter, I will feel very sad. Baby even said what for I keep the things that is from the person who hurts me. Thought it through that I should let you dump away but in the end baby said that I will throw it one day myself If I can let it go.

Really so touched. Thanks baby. You really understand me. Hugs. Thanks for being so good to me.

Today:

I finally found the dress I want! Finally. Laughs! I thought of getting a dress for Chinese New year. So yes, I got it! Wees. Hope it will not look so fat on me.

Prays...

Not getting used to dress yet. Left shoes, track pants and contact lenes to buy. Is that all? Smiles. Let me stop here. Getting very lengthy! Will upload pictures of my dress and stuffs soon. Say bye to fats!

TRINITY WU JINGXUAN, JIA YOU! JIA YOU!

2007-01-13T10:40:00.000+08:00

Green Forest, My Home...

(Intro os) 爱情不是一道选择题。
我知道，那个时候你就已经做了决定。
你心里永远都有著一个相信。
而我的相信，就是支持著你的相信。
因为，我心里有三个字，不能告诉你…
(男)
如果没有你和他的约定
我的爱会不会有一种权利
成为你的行李
陪著你去旅行
无论是北极还是雨林
(女)
我还守著我和他的约定
最后幸福会写下一份证明
就算没有日期
就算还会伤心
我仍相信生命的奇迹

不该再用我的爱困住你
不该再让你眼中有泪滴
好无力去找寻
那三个字的替代句

也许我们从此不再相遇
永远记得你微笑的眼睛
别伤心你放心
我知道(那)三个字的意义

(间奏os )
如果有一天命运让我们再次相遇
而你的答案还缺少一个回应
或许你不知道
其实我也在等待另一个奇迹
(尾奏os)
当你笑著找到你的相信
我会将这三个字化作你的姓名
永远的放在心里……

I DECLARE I LOVE THIS SONG TO THE BITS!

我还守著我和他的约定最后幸福会写下一份证明就算没有日期就算还会伤心我仍相信生命的奇迹...

不该再用我的爱困住你不该再让你眼中有泪滴好无力去找寻那三个字的替代句...

也许我们从此不再相遇永远记得你微笑的眼睛别伤心你放心我知道(那)三个字的意义...

2007-01-12T13:42:00.000+08:00

Kickboxing...

I signed up Kickboxing with debris princess yesterday at Jurong Sports Council. Just trying out new things. After this, I hope to try out aerobics or step aerobics! Can help me to tone and shape my figure! I also want to try out yoga. It is good for health. My baby encouraged me yesterday to join yoga. Know why? Laughs. It is because if I learnt kickboxing, I will be nasty to him in the sense of violence and yoga is more towards a gentle kind.

Yesterday till now keeps pouring. I wore the couple jacket my baby and I bought in Malaysia today. Smiles. It really helps to keep me warm compared to my jacket. Anyway the fees for Kickboxing is $65, 12 sessions, 1 week once starting on 29 January. But Oh my god. I need a lot of money! Sad. I need to get a lot of stuffs before Chinese New year as well as I need to save a lot of money. Dam.

First, I need to get converse track pants at $40++? Very nice one. Next, I need to get a sports shoe? Budget of $100 but mummy said that she will go out with me on Sunday to check it out. Hopefully, she will buy for me! So I can save more! Laughs! Then I need to save up for rebonding. Hais. If everyday I spend $2++, maximum $3 for eating then I can save up to $10 only. How long do I need to save? If I have some money left after all these, I want to buy contact lenses. I cannot possibly wear spectacles on Chinese New Year right?

Dam. I am just so vain but but but! IT'S CHINESE NEW YEAR! Arghs. New year clothes I really hope that dear can pay! Hopefully. Dear says he will. So, yes, I really hope so. Everything is in place for baby and me but the only thing is finance. We never save. How? Hais. Guess it needs time for dear to carve his carrer. I should be patient. When everything runs so smooth for us, I am thinking a lot again. Will things happen? I hope not. I want my friends to get their happiness too!

Debris princess, he is definately not worth it!

Remember this! Hugs for you.

2007-01-11T10:49:00.001+08:00

Happiness...

So happy today.. Just went out to have breakfast with my sister. Talk a lot just now.We talk about my darling. My sis likes her a lot. She said my my darling looks cute, and told me "if you like her,don't give up on her and treat her well". lols im sure baobei see this she'll sure very happy rite ? =x actually not just my sis likes her. My mum and dad also likes her a lot. Good news for both of us.

Me and my darling 1st year anniversary just around the corner. Times flies, I still remembered when i first came to singapore to look for my baobei she still cant believe her eyes. That time she's on her bed sleeping and i never told her that im coming to look for her. Then her maid told her that your boyfriend is here, she said "don't bluff lah" haha i came in and stun whole day. So quiet that day totally not like her =x, i know that she's shy. So start talking and talking and her bro also help me a lot ^^.

Baobei asked me " will you change after we get married ? ". The answer is NO. I won't change.I PLEDGE MY LOVE FOR YOU..

anyway 17 days 13 hours 19 mins to our 1st anniversary.. Hope everything going smooth for both of us this year.

I LOVE YOU BAOBEI..

2007-01-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

Guys Guys Guys...

Dam. I finally force myself to private clinic just cause of my pimples. Hell with pimples problems. Laughs. Doctor told me that if the gel I used do not work for 1 month, then I have to change to a moderate one. Sighs, why do my parents give me this kind of genes? So sad. I seriously want my skin back! Chinese new year is coming soon. I want to have a nice complexion. Guess it needs time. Cannot be rushed either.

Keep sneezing the whole day but anyway have a lot of fun with Norma and Winnie though Yike did not go school today. I am glad I have these two friends with me! At least life in my polytechnic never get bored cause of them. Thanks a lot. May our bonding helps us get an A for our final year project! Wees. Miss dear always and I manage not to sms him so much either for the sake of saving future money. Laughs.

Found out some stuffs about Lin. Girl, you really got to be strong! When you are falling, please let me know so that I can have the honor to pull you up, remember this okay? I am there.

Jie, you also! Do not let guys push you around. We have our pride and rights in love. Love is about being yourself. Do not always give in unless you are super sure that he is worth it for you to do so, if not just do not bother about him and get that person out of your life. He does not deserve your love for him. FUCK all guys who always let girls down. Please for goodness sake stop taking girls for granted.

You will never know that the girl you miss now is the one who loves you and cares for you the most in this lifetime!

Guys, if you love being appreciated, you should learn how to appreciate girls...

Bear my words in mind.

2007-01-07T16:08:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages...

MINE:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably

Physical Touch

with a secondary love language being

Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Quality Time:		10
Words of Affirmation:		5
Acts of Service:		4
Receiving Gifts:		0

BABY's:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably

Physical Touch

with a secondary love language being

Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Quality Time:		9
Words of Affirmation:		5
Acts of Service:		0
Receiving Gifts:		5

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz.

Laughs. Taken from my dearie's blog. HAHAHA.

2007-01-07T14:52:00.000+08:00

2007 Resolutions...

2007 RESOLUTIONS.

Of course to change for the better, I have to do these...

MINE:
01- Adapt myself to my family. [Lives in harmony.]
02- Being more positive. [Don't pity myself too much.]
03- Think more realistic rather than idealistic. [Stop building sandcastles in the air.]
04- Be more confident in baby and our relationship. [No more possessiveness.]
05- Faithful to baby. [Flirting disallowed.]
06- Do romantic stuffs with my baby. [Watch sunset, sunrise, go malaysia and have fun.]
07- Save for rainy days! [Perhaps at least 1K?]
08- Study hard to score more As'. [Get the word "PON" out of my life!]
09- Diet and maintain. [I want my figure back, dear feed me too much!]
10- Everyone I know to be happy; friends. [Overcome obstacles and be more optimistic with life.]

BABY's:
1. have a stable carreer
2. never apart from my baobei again >.<
3. earn more money ofcourse ^^v
4. to be very faithful to my only lao po =x.
5. diet diet diet.
6. buy new handphone for my baobei and me.
7. bring my baobei come malaysia travel and play.
8. bring baobei visit my parents often too.
9. build more confident and trust between me and my baobei.
10.all the above wish come true..lol =x

Follow xiaokeai to do these! Laughs. So that the next year we can have a check again. Wees!

2007-01-05T14:37:00.000+08:00

Let Bygones Be Bygones...

Wow. So many months I did not touch on blogging. Anyway to whom who still says you love me still. The title is for you. I do have my principles on relationship. It has been 1 year 6 months plus since we have last broken up. Even if there is a mere chance of being together, I will not want to. The feeling is different. Not only that, everything is very different. I do not understand why you say there is a will, there is a way. Relationship is not like a game that you can restart and play all over again and again. It is only a game whereby you will either lose the relationship or substain the relationship. So, when it is gone, no point asking for it back again. Your chance is gone. So, please do withdraw. You do not expect me to break up with my current boy-friend just to be with you right? That is impossible.

Perhaps, you will ask me this question because you know that I love him very deep the last time. If Oswald is the one asking me back right now, will I still be persistant in my stand. My answer is still yes, I will not go back to him. I hope you understand that there is no point going back to a relationship that is already dead. And I did said something to you that my current boy-friend definitely loves me more than you do because I am sure about that. I am not trying to be heartless to you. It is just that love matters need to be settled clear and decisive if not you will not only hurt yourself; you will hurt people around you.

These few days I realise that it is not easy to be with me. Yes, I care the least about looks because I believe that one day I will grow old with wrinkles too. Not easy in the sense of that I need security a lot. A lot to the extent of being very worried about my partner as well as being super possessive and clingy. That is not a good thing I know but I have been trying to not be so gaga over love. Still, I fail. I remembered that one of my myanmar friend told me that I will be worried about my partner now and then by reading my palm lines.

Luckily, the best part is that my dear never feel tired trying to give me security. It is difficult on his side I know but I really fare lousy when it comes to a long-distance relationship. I will get moody easily at times when he is in another side of the world though it is only few hours journey away from each other. I will not be that sensitive when he is here with me in Singapore. Damn. That is a bad thing. Dear's character suits me a lot right? Laughs. I cannot find a better one that can take my mood swings. Oswald cannot. I remember that when we were together for two months plus, he said that he had already given me all the security he could but still the past was still hovering over me.

I watched Green forest, My home during the holidays. So touching. I envy the girl a lot. She can wait for the vow without accepting any guys that are of good criteria. I cannot do that. I will not wait for something that holds no assurance even if I love that person so much. Perhaps, I am afraid of getting hurt in the end. So, just to protect myself, I have no choice but to close down that chapter like what I did to Oswald's case.

Afterall, I feel that what I am doing is right. He is never meant to be mine in the first place. I am happy with my life with my dear. So, yes. Let bygones be bygones. Hope that I will have a better year ahead with my family, friends and my dear of course. Hoping that I will have no enemies! Laughs. Without him, I can never have that kind of smile on my face. Get it dear? I love you! My hair is getting longer. Laughs. My maid once told me that the longer the hair is, the more lasting the relationship is. So, I sincerely prays that it will be true.

Blow the prayers...

2006-11-16T13:45:00.000+08:00

Touched...

Baobei & Mr.Jollibean...

going to 10 months..its not and its not short either..a lot of memories..darling and me get through a lot of things..but im very happy that my darling always stayed by my side..these days i felt our love much closer when darling together with me..we're having hard time,yet darling still never leave me..im so touched..beobei i love you.

2006-11-14T12:28:00.000+08:00

Time...

Time really flies. A year passed so fast. Why I say a year? Thinking of the date I just broke off with someone last year; October. Still, somehow it hurts. I am not trying to crap here or should I say no one is in my shoes. Surprisingly, my dear still love me like how he always do. Never deny the fact that I am afraid of losing him at times. Perhaps it is not about losing "him", its the love that he gives me every now and then. Or maybe it is about losing the "him". If he do not love me, where is the "him" and where is the love to me? Laughs. Contradicting. But dear, I have tried to put you in every fraction of my heart every single day! Forget to say, I have a English name named by one of my customers: Trinity! Smiles. As long as I like it can already right? Laughs.

Tracking back to roughly a week ago, dear played the song "My Everything" by 98 Degrees on my laptop after he pat me to bed.

You are my everything.
Nothing your love won't bring.
My life is yours alone.
The only love I've ever known.
Your spirit pulls me through.
When nothing else will do.
Every night I pray.
On bended knee.
That you will always be my everything...

Actually I was really going to fall asleep soon but that song suddenly woke me up. It really make an impact on my mind, my soul and my heart. I wept after the chorus was sang. I wept is not because how hurt I was but is how bliss I am to have my dear beside me when another guy left me...

Memories:
When we choose to forget, we will remember it closely to our hearts.
When we choose to remember, we will eventually forget as time passes by.

So, readers... Tell me which you prefer?

I will conclude that forgive and forget is a bullshit thing. It is just a ring-a-bell to you to forget everything but it actually serves no purpose. You will NOT forget, you will PUT them aside to another little fraction of your heart just to console yourself. Know why? It is all because you grab that bit of memory too tight. It is just as much as how you cherish or miss those little memories.

Blow all memories...

To:

Dear, I love every effort you make in loving me... Just like a pink, pink rose. Laughs. Dear, though its only a stalk of pink rose, I still love it! Pink, red, black roses? Colors of passion? Smiles. Thank you for making a difference in my life.

2006-10-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

Demands?

I quit my job already. Surprisingly, I felt sad on the first day. Not anymore the next day. I have many reasons behind having me to quit. All I can say is yes, I learn really a lot during that two months. I am contented that I can bear with it for that pathetic two months. Retail line is not a good job unless you are a very good actor. For me, be it my nature or be it my character. I hate to act when I do not like that person. I mean in the sense of I will drop very obvious hints to the way I talk to them. I do not wish to hurt their feelings though I dislike that particular person.

Still, I did not let myself down. Okay since the job is over, I work in Robinsons at Raffles City. In my personal views within that two months, Robinsons' management really need some implementations or changes. They do not care a shit about whether you are new or what, they will just complain and whine to the other department without giving you any warning. So what if you are the store manager when you only know how to compain? I cannot believe it. As a store manager, you should know how to handle this kind of situations. Why do you need to let anyone do the talking? Oh, do not tell me that all managers' main top requirement in Robinsons is to have a mouth that complain? What a laughing stock.

Other than the management in Robinsons, my senior demands too much for me. Other brands like Goldlion, Picard, Bruan Buffel all knew her character. She should just stop going for night class and hug her counter to sleep every single night. She cannot get along with the rest of the brands and I can. I wonder why, how can all brands actually cannot get along with her? So I conclude, the main problem lies with her. Me being the sandwich of them feels like there is no air for me to breathe. When my senior is with me, I cannot talk to them especially on Saturdays and Sundays. Senior complains to me every now and then; almost every day on the day I work. I am not happy working under her brand. Goldlion and picard need people but I guess I should just study when I can. I do not want to be a sales promoter for life!

But, anyway, I am trying my best to get 2 out of 4 UTs As'. I got B+ for web application. 3 more tries. Good luck to me.

Dear, thanks for everything. I love you.

2006-09-26T15:16:00.000+08:00

Back Here ...

If you are happy and you know please clap your hands. Laughs. Okay, I am here to declare that I am engaged to my dear. Smiles. Just a joke. Still not yet there. I want a diamond ring before I am yours lawfully. Kidding. Dear bought me a ring from Taka Jewellery. But, after knowing that Couple Lab in Plaza Singapura sells nicer couple rings and other stuffs for couple. I am so sad. I want rings from there! Very nice indeed.

School starts. I still work after school from Wednesday till Sunday for extra cash. Loves shopping! Yesterday was suppose to attend school but in the end yike, wissy and I decided to skip school. No, no, no. Actually... I mean actually. It was a deal. If we could not get in the incoming bus 169 then we shall not go. The main reason is that our school has been stricter. If we miss out the first breakout, we will get degrade by 1 grade. Okay, fine. 1 grade means a lot! Still, It is worth the skip because I do not have to work that day. Laughs. Watched "The Haunted Apartment" with them in Cineleisure. Very touching. Nice plot. Next, we went heeren. Got one top from Pink Panter. Then, Takashimaya. Bought another Fox Women top there and then meet dear up. Nice day! Claps.

For work, sighs. Though the pay is high, there are of course more demands from me. Laughs. Luckily, work is still fine for now. Hope it will be better. Yesterday ate at suki sushi. I will not eat that ever again. Perhaps, sushi is not what I really love in. Unless, it is cooked salmon. I cannot eat raw ones. I will vomit! Laughs. Cooked salmon is very nice! Ate most with it. I always miss out the best food like salmon, oyster, etc... Sighs.

The problem does not lie with me you know. It's my choosy stomach.

Well, we took neo print after that. Wees. It has been a month or so since we took that together. Today's module facilitator is my mentor. Oh god. He keeps monitoring me. Scary but still, I am here blogging. He very naggy. I got work later. God, save me! Time is running out for me.

Took an extra module tomorrow. Yes! Business Finance! I am very interested in that. So, I will get an extra day off for Year 3. Hooray! Hope I can excel in it and as well as for this semester. I am getting late. Quick! Dismiss please...

Dear, when I love you... I use actions not words from my mouth. So do not ask me questions like do I love you? Though sometimes I do use my mouth, well... Use your heart! Laughs.

So do I love you or do I not? Winks.

Forget The Sadness...

2006-09-08T11:56:00.000+08:00

Forget The Sadness..

街道靜的刺耳　夜被路燈染色趁感傷醒來前　先上車　不會不捨承認我是弱者　不敢再對愛假設我真的累得　不想再拉扯

＊我尋找的平靜　是我將來看電影帶著一顆平常心　不必為誰心碎閉上眼睛我需要的平靜　是敢回頭看曾經那些為愛患得患失的情景 我選擇忘記 我不懂得取捨　才讓心痛堆著找得到前些年的快樂　只是偶爾回憶是個誘餌　是來叫我回去的要傷能癒合　我非走不可

我真的累得　不想再拉扯

要不是爲了我以後的將來或今世的打算。我早就一走了之。我得學會忍。忍忍忍！這世界本來就是殘酷的！讓我堅強一點。

2006-09-07T13:29:00.000+08:00

"3399" Long Lasting Love...

Dear's first bouquet of roses to me on 3 September 2006.

Mature Love...

2006-09-07T11:47:00.000+08:00

Mature Love...

Thinking how we are started was like somehow linked to how Oswald and I ended. After Oswald and I broke up, he still maple like usual but for me, I do not even have the mood to play games at that moment. Nevertheless, I still try every chance to talk to him. Hence, I do so in "Maplestory" as well. I was pretty sad at how he treated our relationship as I still could not figure out why he still can concentrate playing his games just after we broke up. It did break my heart. Perhaps, our 3 months relationship did not mean anything to him after all.

He would never know how much I did just to understand him even a bit more to why he react that cold to me. Horoscopes somehow can help. Thus, read a lot on his cancer's horoscope. Try to be more understanding to what he need at that time. Still, it failed. He replied me heartlessly. What I thought he needed most was security. I did not give up hope yet. I went in "Maplestory" just to know if he was playing. Meanwhile, I was at the golem temple just to pass my time as well. Then there came my dear. He was hunting for golem stones to do for his quest. I had 50 of them so I gave all to him.

I started talking to him. I asked for his horoscope first. When he said he was a Cancerian, I continued talking to him being excited that he got the same horoscope as Oswald. Next, I found out that he was a Malaysian. So, I confide in him even more since we will never meet each other. This was what I was thinking at the back of my mind. So I asked him questions like if your ex do this and that, how would you feel that sorts of questions. That was how the idea of e-mail came in. I never had a single thought of him being my boy friend. Whatever I do was merely trying to get back Oswald's heart.

I e-mailed him on how I feel and make him realize that I still love him. However, few days later catching him online in "Maplestory" , I asked him if he had read it, he said he did not. He actually deleted it without reading. So heart wrecking. The last hope is when I asked him if we would have a chance to patch in the future in the bus, but he say it was over. That was when I totally gave him up. Before that, my dear did send me a "sms" saying he had a big crush on me since "Maplestory". The only reason why I took so long to accept him was due to Oswald.

Come to think of this, my dear has always been the sun of my rainy days. I cried every night after breaking with him. My dear consoled me throughout that few months being beside me. At times, I feel like breaking down and I flared onto him. He said he understood. I like his character. Look, I do not go for looks in the first place. Oswald was still holding him back. Till then on the first day of the lunar calendar, I accepted my dear. Perhaps, he was right. If a man who really loves me with all he has will never want me to bear all these sufferings on my own. He will rather share my burdens.

He came all over to Singapore to find me. From there we started to plan our future together...

The difference I found out between my dear and Oswald was that my dear and I were in a mature relationship but Oswald and I were in a romantic relationship. Yes, that is how I felt indeed. There is a lot more of what I did for Oswald but I feel that it is meaningless to me anymore. Closing that chapter. Thank him for that romantic moment. Cheers.

Romantic love lasts a moment but mature love lasts a lifetime.

3 Red Roses...

2006-09-06T12:43:00.000+08:00

3 Red Roses...

Dear bought me 3 red roses on Sunday, 3 September 2006. A very nice date to jot down in our relationship. Why? "3399" in the date is like long lasting love in mandarin. Smiles. In the end, dear still owe me a total of 96 roses. Laughs. I wanted to upload the rose picture but the hello blogger is lagging. Yesterday dear actually took half day leave to accompany me to see doctor. The doctor was so cute to teach us what happened to me. Okay, I got stomach flu but I am alright today hopefully. Got to work soon later. Oh, Remember to put "(tu)" in your messager nick so as to put the crocodile hunter in memorial. Rest in peace.

I love you.

2006-08-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

Me, me & me...

From my sister's blog...

1. Full name: Wu Jingxuan.
2. Name backwards: "nauxgniJ uW".
3. Were you named after someone: No.
4. Meaning of name: To let me get in first; "jing xian".
5. Nickname: Jing, Xuan, Jing suan. (I hate this one! Laughs.)
6. D.O.B: 22/02/1988. (A lot of 2's. I am easily hungry.)
7. Place of birth: Singapore General Hospital
8. Nationality: Singaporean (Dislikes Malaysia. Sighs.)
9. Current location: On the bed using laptop.
10. Star sign: Pisces.
12. Religion: Buddhism.
13. Height: 1.64m.
14. Weight: Not revealed. (Weight has always been ladies' secrets!)
15. Shoe size: 6.5/7.
16. Hair colour: Natural brown.
17. Eye colour: Dark brown.
18. Who do you look like: My beloved dad.
19. Innie or outtie: Depends to who.
20. Leftie or rightie: Rightie.
31. Favourite online guy: My dearest dear, Marcus.
32. Favourite online girl: Eunice, Yike.
33. Craziest friend: Eunice.
34. Advice friend: Eunice and Yike.
35. Loudest friend: Melody. (When we craps...)
36. Person you cry with: A lot. Especially all my previous boyfriends. (Signs. I always weep.)
37. Any sisters: Yes, real life there is one but... (But...)
38. Any brothers: Yes, two. (Headache!)
39. Any pets: Not now anymore. (Used to own kittens.)
40. Any disease: Of course not!
41. Pagers: Not in my generation please.
42. Personal phone line: Handphone can?
43. Cell phone: Nokia 7360.
44. Lava lamp: Never use that.
45. Pool or hot tub: Hot tub.
46. A car: Convertible, dear please?
47. Your personality: Why ask me? (You know me means you know me.)
48. Driving: Scared of accidents but will learn it one day.
49. Room colour: White. (I want to have my own room for ages!)
50. What's missing: Money. (Sad. Earning now.)
51. School: Elizabeth Primary, Assumption English, Republic Polytechnic.
52. Bed colour: Currently, I do not have a choice for my own bed.
53. Relationship with parents: Alright. (Honestly, I am closer to my dad.)
54. Believe in yourself: Yes.
55. Believe in love at first sight: No.
56. Good listener: I hope so? (Laughs!)
57. Get along well with parents: Okay only.
58. Save email conversations: No. (I do save msn conversations, think lots do as well.)
59. Pray: Depends on time.
60. Believe in reincarnation: Yes.
61: Makes fun of people: Closer friends I do!
62. Like to talk on the phone: Depends on whoever I am talking to.
63. Want to get married: Yes but not sure if it will be successful not. (Pending. Waiting for approval by me! Laughs.)
64. Like to drive: Not sure, have not drive before.
65. Motion sickness: Sometimes in the car.
66. Eat stem of broccoli: Yes, I ate a lot of vegetables but why my complexion...
67. Eat chicken with fork: Yes.
68. Dream in colour: Yes, multi colors.
69. Type with your fingers on home role: Yes.
70. Sleep with stuff animals: Yes, piglets!
71. Next to you: Handphone, pillows, laptop adapters, handphone charger and laptop.
72. On the walls of your room: Cement.
73. On your mousepad: I do not use them when I am on the bed?
74. Dream car: Convertible.
75. Dream date: A lot of scenarios.
76. Dream honeymoon spot: Paris, rome, venice.
77. Dream husband or wife: One who loves me with all he can.
78. Bedtime: Depends.
79. Under your bed: Wood flooring.
80. Single most important question: When is my mr right?
81. Bad time of a day: Rainy days!
82. Your worst fear: Having that kind of encounters.
83. The weather is: Rainy.
84. Time: 1.11 PM.
85. Date: 31 August 2006.
86. Best trick did on someone: Forgotten.
87. Theme song: Still eternity by utada hitaru.
88. Hardest thing about growing up: Being independant enough to face different incoming obstacles in life.
89. Funniest experience: Erm?
90. Scariest experience: Saw someone passed away in front of me.
91. Silliest thing you have ever said: The world is not cruel. (Shit it! IT IS!)
92. Most desperate and funniest thing i have done to get the opposite sex: ...
93. Scariest thing while you are with your friends: Saying horror stories in the middle of the night.
94. Worst feeling: Everything is going the opposite way.
95. Best feeling in the world: Everything is in the right way!
96. AND NOW THE SABOTAGING BEGINS!!! CHOOSE EIGHT TO DO THE QUIZ!!!

MARCUS, MELODY, YI LING, SEE TIN, DARIE, DEARIE, SHU LI, JILL.

That's me in spectacles on the way to work. Wee. Chubby cheeks I have...

2006-08-29T15:54:00.000+08:00

7th Month Anniversary...

Oh, the first thing. Happy 7th month anniversary my dearest dear! I love you my baby. Though yes, these few days there have been some disputes here and there over finance but we will try not to make matters even worse. That's us. Time has been a lot less than usual for meet up but we still do for like an hour or so each day. Still, my feelings for him did not fade but makes me miss him even more. Weird right? There is one thing I noticed. Oswald did not surface in my mind anymore like last time. That is a good news! Dear covers every part of my heart already. Laughs. Mature love always has more commitment than kiddish relationship.

So much to plan. So much to save. So much to stress! Today there is no work. I will off on every Tuesday. Work is fine for me these 5 days. I am satisfied with my performance. Same goes for my senior and my boss. Oh, I am selling cufflinks, tie/bar sets, tie/link sets and a lot more to go. My senior is one who is very capable in upselling products. Admire her a lot. Hate the brand beside us. So what we sold more than yours. You greeny eyes. Stop staring at us! I love working there. I do not know why. That is just my feeling. Smiles!

Alright, got to shower and wear something... Laughs.

2006-08-26T10:36:00.000+08:00

Blog of the Day...

So lucky to get into blog of the day on the day I have just created my blogskin. Laughs. Anyway, I have to work at 2.30 PM later in the afternoon. Meanwhile just come here to blog. Everything was okay. My senior is one who guides us very well. When it is time to be serious, she will. When it is time to chat around, she will too. Is it it perfect? Smiles. Lucky she knows how to plan our time. Meaning I can have enough sleep of 10 hours plus. Will not get tired easily on and off. Only my feet is the problem due to high heels. How those office women or those women who wore high heels everyday standing take it? I need to get used to it. Till next time I blog again!

Learning to be Independant...

2006-08-23T14:27:00.000+08:00

Learning to be Independant...

I am nervous for tomorrow. Tomorrow marks my first working day. I shall not say where I am working in case of unneccessary disturbance. The company gave me a probation period of 2 weeks. After which they have to see my performance. If I am good, they will carry on taking me. When it comes to work or study, I will try my very best for that day. My daily grade has always been okay. For the last week, all my 3 modules got A's. I did not go for web multimedia. I know there are going to be a lot of things to be done for the day. As long as i focus, I can do it! Same goes for work.

To survive in this society, we need to learn to be independant. I am really learning. Trying to be strong even when the worst situation arises. Though sometimes it is really hard to handle, I have no choice but to weep in tears. I do not know why. Everytime when I cannot help but to weep, I will feel so so much better. I always tell my dear that after I cry, I will be stronger each day. That is my philosophy.

The aim of me working is actually to secure me a long-term job even when I am schooling or when in search of my field's job after graduation. Other than that is to learn to balance between my studies and work. This is another challange. Like that, my life will be more fulfilling and fruitful. I am getting older and not any younger. Somemore my dear is not young also. Overall, I still need to grow up! It is just a matter of time only.

Bought a cheap tamagochi to play with. Very troublesome! Have to feed it in the middle of the night too. Laughs. Our spectacles is on the way! We both got the same design. Black thick frame. Smiles. Back on Sunday, dear brought me to have a express menicure at West Mall. Costs 10 bucks. I choose pink. First time doing menicure. Quite worth it. Can give it a try. Tomorrow starts work from 1 PM - 9 PM. 8 hours 50 bucks? I wonder if the pay will include the hour for dinner time. Wish me lucks for my first day!

My object orientated programming facilitator told us our Understanding Test 4 grade. I have got a B+. Jumps! This is his comments to close the chapter of year 2 semester 1...

"Comments for Individual: I was quite pleased with your performance this semester. You seem to have acquired better technical knowledge than many of your teammates, and you know when to apply these concepts as well. Today, I think that you did the program by yourself, and you managed to explain it confidently during your team's presentation.

Please continue to work hard, and you must never give-up, no matter how difficult a situation appears to be. Remember that hard-work, and regular practice and revision are important for success in studies.

I wish you good luck in your studies as well as in your career. Please feel free to contact me if you need any help.

Concerning your RJ: I know that working and studying at the same time is not easy. But it is an experience that will you build your character, and that will enable you develop many soft-skills that you will never acquire by studying alone. But you must not put too much pressure on yourself. If you are having financial difficulties, please let me know. I can ask the school to so something about it!"

A big thank-you for Mr Ashwin's encourgements! I have no problem with financial at all just for a growing phase.

Sad to say, my database systems facilitator is sick on that day. So, another one takes his place. Still, I got my A. Cheers.

"Comments for Individual: JingXuan, you need to be more confident of yourself. For your own learning process, you did very well. Hope you perform well in the new semester."

I love my networking and communications facilitator. He always give me A's! Laughs.

"Comments for Individual: You are keeping your duscussion involvement in your usual ways. You can quote me some theory of servers and network IP address. Hope you can keep up the performance for next semester."

Actually I am quite proud of myself that tomorrow is the second day of holidays and I spent it usefully... Winks. Sad to say it is only a month holiday. More please...

999 Red roses...

2006-08-23T03:32:00.000+08:00

999 Red Roses...

This is my first blog entry. I changed the blog link and even start a new blog all over again. I feel that the other blog layouts are like childish to me already. Laughs. I want to grow up and be a mature lady. Smiles. Seriously, I love red roses a lot till the extent that I keep pestering my dear to buy me a bouquet of it. I even asked for 999 roses. His expression was like serious or not? 999 roses not that cheap! Laughs. I love romantic stuffs. Candles, etc. So, I went to look up on pictures of roses till now... 3 going 4! Got to turn in. Dear will sure be worrying me in his dreams. Laughs. Okay, I found a lyrics on Red Red Rose. Though I never heard of it before, the lyrics is meaningful enough for me to make use of. Laughs. Nights everyone... Oh, do drop me comments on my new blog layout. Thanks in advance.

You may wonder if you know me.
You may wonder if I care.
Or if I'll leave you sad and lonely.
Or if I'll always be right there.
Well there's no need for doubt now darlin'.
'Cause I have come to know.
This love of ours is no common flower.
You know this love is like a red, red rose.

And you may wonder about this dreamer.
If she's all you thought she'd be.
And, oh, if anything but someday.
Ever comes from lovin' me.
But hold me close and tell me darlin'.
That you have come to know.
This love I bring you is no common thing.
You know this love is like a red, red rose.

When you're all caught up in sweet surrender.
Simple truth is sometimes hard to see.
Here between the tough times and the tender.
It all comes down to you and me.

And you may see my heart of darkness.
I may stumble now and again.
But underneath this heart of darkness.
There's a heart that's lovin' you right till the end.
So hold me close, come hold me darlin'.
'Cause I want you to know.
This love of ours is no common flower.
You know this love is like a red, red rose.

This love of ours is no common flower.
You know this love is like a red, red rose.